Individuals Who Were Labeled 'Dramatic' as Kids Often Develop These 12 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say ...Saudi Arabia

The effects of childhood don't bow out the moment we turn 18. In fact, psychologists note that roles cast for us in childhood can follow us to adulthood, especially for individuals labeled "dramatic" as children."When children are given labels like 'dramatic,' they are receiving a powerful message that can stick with them for a long time," says Dr. Emily Guarnotta, Psy.D., PMH-C, psychologist and founder of Phoenix Health. "They hear that their feelings are too much or wrong."She shares that understanding how your childhood is affecting you today lets you move from a place of self-blame to compassion, explaining, "This understanding is the first step toward healing and creating new, healthier patterns."Psychologists reveal 12 common traits and behaviors that people labeled "dramatic" as children often display as adults, along with ways to start healing.Related: People Who Were Told They Were 'Too Sensitive' as Children Usually Develop These 14 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say

Individuals smacked with a "dramatic" tag in childhood may become "versatile" role players as adults. While this behavior may bode well for a career on Broadway, it doesn't help you—or those around you—if it manifests as people-pleasing behavior in real life."Children who were called 'dramatic' may respond by being as agreeable with others as possible," Dr. Guarnotta says. "They might try to keep others happy and comfortable, even when it's at their own expense. This pattern can continue well into adulthood."  Related: Individuals Who Grew Up as 'People-Pleasers' Usually Develop These 12 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say

2. Poor boundaries

One psychologist notes that people-pleasing tendencies can morph into what she calls "Jell-O" boundaries."People who were told they were dramatic second-guess themselves and the boundaries they need to have in order to thrive because they received the messaging that their needs and boundaries were selfish or unreasonable," warns Dr. Gayle MacBride, Ph.D., LP, a psychologist with Veritas Psychology Partners.

People tapped as "dramatic" kids can turn into adults who can launch into a monologue to explain simple decisions or constantly recite the line, "I'm sorry.""Being called 'dramatic' as a child can lead to internalized guilt about having needs or taking up space," says Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa, Ph.D., a psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor. "Adults might feel the need to justify every feeling or action to avoid being misunderstood."Related: People Who Felt Constantly Criticized as Children Usually Develop These 13 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say

4. Fear of rejection or abandonment

Dr. Lira de la Rosa warns that some people who were labeled "dramatic" in childhood were punished or dismissed for their emotions, which can have long-term consequences for how we relate to others."Adults may fear that sharing their true selves will lead to disconnection," he points out. "This can lead to people-pleasing or over-attachment in relationships."Related: Rejection Stinks—Here’s How To Deal With It, According to Experts

Critics may have a kryptonite-like effect on these individuals, who may also be on a relentless quest for the spotlight and standing ovations. "They may display a heightened sensitivity to criticism, reacting strongly to perceived slights due to a deep need for validation and connection," shares Dr. Joel Frank, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist with Duality Psychological Services. "A desire for attention is often present, not out of vanity, but because they thrive on acknowledgment and being seen by others."Dr. Guarnotta echoes these sentiments, pointing out that the need for external validation is understandable."If your emotions were consistently invalidated as a child, you may find yourself seeking validation that your feelings are valid as an adult," she says.Related: People Who Never Felt Validated as Kids Often Develop These 11 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say

6. Invalidating others

It might sound like a plot twist, but Dr. Guarnotta clarifies that people often treat others the way they were treated (instead of how they want to be treated)."Sometimes, we project our own experiences onto others," she reports. "A person who was always called 'dramatic' as a child might become an adult who puts labels on their own children. This is often done unconsciously or outside of one's awareness."In fact, Dr. Guarnotta notes that people labeled "dramatic" as kids may call the children in their lives "dramatic" as well.Related: How To Validate Someone's Feelings, According to a Clinical Psychologist

Second-guessing and emotional invalidation are common threads in the lives (and behaviors) of people who were told they were "over-dramatic" as children."People who were chastised or shamed for being 'dramatic' as a kid now question if they are displaying the 'right' amount or type of emotion," Dr. MacBride explains. "You often hear them as, 'Am I making a big deal out of nothing?'"

8. Conceal, don't feel

Fans of the Disney's Frozen likely remember this line from the movie (Elsa's father encouraged her to "conceal, don't feel" to avoid accidentally using her ice-making powers, which were uncontrollable when she was emotional). Dr. MacBride says "dramatic" labels in childhood can have an "Elsa effect" that lasts into adulthood (as it did for the Disney heroine).

"People who were told they were too much or dramatic have received the message loud and clear that they need to appear 'cool, calm and collected,'" she says. "They have learned that emotions are unhelpful or even dangerous."

Yet, you—like Elsa—may have simply needed love and to love.

It can be hard to follow advice to "treat yourself like you'd treat a friend" if you learned to loathe yourself in childhood."A pattern I see often is someone who can deeply care for friends, family, or even strangers but struggles to offer that same kindness to themselves," Dr. Lira de la Rosa says. "They may have learned to prioritize others' feelings as a survival skill."Related: 35 Simple, Sincere Phrases To Express Empathy, According to Therapists

10. Strong storytelling ability or expressiveness

This behavior offers a silver lining."The same traits that were dismissed as 'dramatic' in childhood often turn into powerful tools in adulthood," Dr. Lira de la Rosa says. "Clients who were expressive kids are often great at using metaphor, humor or creative language to communicate in therapy. When these traits are supported rather than criticized, they can be empowering."Dr. Frank agrees, noting that people who receive the "dramatic" label in childhood often pursue creative hobbies and careers, such as art, writing or performance.

While some people who grew up getting called "dramatic" may second-guess everything, others may not think twice before taking action."Impulsivity can also be a characteristic, as they may act or speak without much forethought, driven by their emotions in the moment, which can lead to misunderstandings or perceptions of unpredictability," Dr. Frank says.

12. Anxiety or hypervigilance

Gauging others' emotions is essential for connection and empathy. However, it's possible to go overboard."Growing up in an environment where your emotions are policed is stressful and can cause you to be constantly on guard," Dr. Guarnotta warns. "As an adult, this can manifest as chronic anxiety, tensions or hypervigilance. A person might find themselves constantly watching their partner to see signs of disapproval or walking on eggshells to prevent anger or criticism."Dr. MacBride agrees, likening this hypervigilance to an "emotional radar.""Children who were criticized for being too much often develop a keen radar or awareness of the emotional states of those around them," she adds.Related: People Who Were 'Emotionally Neglected' in Childhood Often Develop These 10 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say

5 Tips for Healing From a 'Dramatic' Label in Childhood

Dr. MacBride has a key directive for you, which she delivers with compassion: "Stop gaslighting yourself and believing that having emotions is being 'too much,'" she says.The truth? They are not "too much" but vital data."Emotions serve a function, and they often tell you something valuable about yourself or the situation that you are in," she explains.Related: 7 Common Parenting Tactics That Can Actually Hurt Your Kid's Confidence, a Child Psychologist Warns

2. Practice voicing your needs

You may have felt ashamed for having needs as a child, but Dr. MacBride says it's essential to flip that script."Pick someone safe and practice with them," she suggests. "Start small, ask for support, don’t over-explain or justify the need for that support. This will help you learn to develop and strengthen this 'muscle.'"Related: 7 Phrases To Ask for Support, According to a Therapist

Dr. Frank says that healing is hard and can require a lot of energy. Be sure to recharge.

"Self-care typically plays a vital role in replenishing your physical, emotional and mental resources," he explains. "Activities like regular exercise, proper nutrition, sufficient rest and engaging in fulfilling hobbies enhance overall well-being and reaffirm your inherent value."

4. Build a support system

Getting called "dramatic" as a kid probably hurt, but you deserve support."Engage with individuals who provide empathy, understanding and encouragement," Dr. Frank points out. "Healing is often facilitated through connection, and a reliable support system can offer comfort, perspective and a sense of belonging during challenging periods."

5. Seek therapy

Personal connections are important, but you may benefit from professional support."If you have a background of being invalidated as a child, therapy can provide a safe space to unpack early childhood wounds and heal from them," Dr. Guarnotta says. "A good therapist offers a safe space that is free of judgment. Therapy can also provide a corrective emotional experience, where you can experience what it's like to have another person accept and validate your feelings, rather than labeling you or shaming you for them."

In turn, you might find you make deeper personal connections outside the therapy room.

Up Next:

Related: 11 Phrases To Use if Someone Says You're 'Too Sensitive'

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