I grew up in poverty, with a father in and out of prison, a mother addicted to heroin, and my cousins caught up in gangs. When I was a teenager, my friends and I started stealing cars and joyriding as an escape from our dysfunctional homes. This behavior would land me on juvenile probation, which did little to help me succeed. It normalized constant searches of our home. During one search, my father was almost shot. I was constantly on edge.
California’s practice of “endless juvenile probation” keeps kids under supervision until they turn 18 or longer, regardless of their individual circumstances and whether they’ve changed or progressed. I was one of those kids, and it cost me everything. Recently, Assemblymember Mia Bonta drafted AB 1376 to address this issue. If this bill had been in place when I was a child, it could have completely altered the path that led me to where I am now at age 44 serving life in prison at San Quentin.
At 16, I was sent to the Guadalupe Home for Boys, a juvenile camp in the Yucaipa mountains in Southern California. While still in the camp at 17, my cousin and close friend were murdered. Around the same time, my father went to prison. My life was in chaos. At the camp, we had jobs. We washed cars for money and went to school on the grounds. For the first time in my life, I found stability. I did well in school and found peace. I started to believe I had a future.
I was close to graduating. I wanted to become a U.S. Marine, just like my uncle Gilbert. The juvenile camp called a recruiter for me, but the recruiter gave me bad news: I had to be off probation for six months before I could enlist. That was impossible under California’s juvenile probation laws because my probation wouldn’t end at least until I turned 18 (juvenile probation frequently lasts until age 21). I didn’t have six months off probation, and I never would.
Two days after my 18th birthday, a probation raid discovered a fingernail-sized bit of marijuana. I was placed on adult probation. My dream of becoming a Marine died that day. I struggled to stay out of trouble while living in a drug house, surrounded by the very things I was trying to escape. I worked nights at a lumber yard. I tried to do better, but I was no match for my environment or the system. I eventually became a father.
This is what happens when kids don’t have a real chance to transform their lives after growing and learning from their mistakes. I’ve met countless others like me, whose endless juvenile probation became endless incarceration. Many tried to turn their lives around, but hit walls and lost hope after doing the work of trying to better themselves. They were told they were not eligible for job core programs and other opportunities to get off the streets because they were on probation. Ironically, we were told that it was for our own good to stay on probation to receive services. But all probation did was ultimately close doors and make it more likely to get rearrested because of technicalities and constant searches.
Besides the high human toll, I also think about the financial burden of endless juvenile probation which also makes it more likely for children to end up in prison as adults. In California, it costs taxpayers $133,000 per incarcerated individual per year.
AB 1376, authored by Assemblymember Bonta, presents a better way to handle juvenile probation. It demands regular court check-ins for juveniles on probation starting at nine months and allows judges to extend it in six-month intervals if necessary. AB 1376 requires the system to create individualized plans for every child to maximize their chances of success, instead of setting them up for failure. It’s a reform that recognizes what the research already shows: the longer a child stays on probation, the more likely they are to reoffend–not because they’re incorrigible, but because probation can become a maze of technical violations and impossible conditions.
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Probation should be a bridge, not a trap door. California lawmakers have the chance to pass a bill that reflects the values of fairness, opportunity, and hope. I urge them to vote yes on AB 1376 – not just for the sake of youth on probation today, but for future generations in need of a real chance.
Jessie Milo is incarcerated at the San Quentin Rehabilitation Center. He wrote this commentary through Back to the Start, a writing project led by incarcerated individuals.
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