Writing an email might seem like common sense—just type out what you want to say and hit send, right? But once your fingers hit the keyboard, things can get a little tricky. It’s not always the words or fancy phrasing that trip you up—it’s the punctuation. Suddenly, you’re staring at a sentence, wondering if it really needs an exclamation point, where you should put it or how many exclamation points are too many to include in an email. After all, you want to sound polished and professional, but also friendly and excited—especially when you're messaging someone you’ve never met or worked with before. Without your voice, facial expressions or a laugh to soften the tone, punctuation is the only way you can strike the perfect balance between sounding confident and kind.That’s why we reached out to psychologist Dr. Caitlin Slavenswho has over 641K followers on Instagram. She breaks down the subtle psychology behind punctuation in emails and explains how using something as small as an exclamation point over a period can shift the entire tone of your message. She explains why it’s a fine line to walk, and that the key is to strike a balance—enough to convey warmth and enthusiasm, but not so much that it distracts from the professionalism you want to maintain. With her expertise, you can feel confident successfully adding well-placed exclamation points into your emails so you can come off as approachable without making yourself sound overly excited or insincere by doing so. It’s all about using punctuation with intention and knowing that it can help your personality shine when done right.Related: 11 Best Phrases To Close an Email, Plus the #1 Way You Don’t Want To End Your Message
Dr. Slavens tells Parade that including exclamation points in a work-related email isn’t looked at as unprofessional. It can make the person using them more likable.“Using an exclamation point isn’t something to be embarrassed about—it doesn’t make you look less professional,” she explains. “If anything, it shows you’re making an effort to be approachable, which most people appreciate, especially over email, where tone can so easily get lost.”So, why do some people avoid using them? “Some people tend to avoid using exclamation points when they email others because they’ve been told—directly or indirectly—that incorporating enthusiasm looks unprofessional,” Dr. Slavens explains. “That usually happens because in some industries there’s still a lingering idea that being taken ‘seriously’ equals using no exclamation points. Due to that, people steer clear of them, even if it flattens their natural voice a bit.”Related: An Etiquette Expert Is Begging People To Stop Writing This One Thing in Emails
How Many Exclamation Points Are Acceptable in an Email?
When it comes to the amount of exclamation points you should or shouldn’t use in an email, Dr. Slavens shares that the number can vary slightly.“In an email, there should be one or two exclamation points, max,” she reveals. “That way, there is enough to add warmth when you’re reaching out to a new client, a coworker or someone you've never met, but not so many that it reads like you're yelling or overselling excitement. By including at least one well-placed exclamation point, it can make you sound more human and relatable. It can also soften the edges of what could otherwise come across too flat or transactional.”She adds that it’s all about balance, in the end. For example, you don't want to have an exclamation point after every single sentence, she reveals, because it could "start to feel frantic" if that's the case. "That’s why you should stick to including them in places where it makes sense to sound genuinely friendly, or where you want to express happiness about something," Dr. Slaves explains. "For instance, when you greet someone in an email you can write, 'Hi Tessa!’ or after you express appreciation about something, you can say, 'Thanks so much for your help!' Another option is to place one when you're closing an email with excitement, where you can mention something like, ‘I’m looking forward to working together!’”Related: 10 Genius Alternatives to 'As Per My Last Email,' According to an Etiquette Expert
If you use over two exclamation points, Dr. Slavens says it could give off a different impression than you intended it to. “If you use too many exclamation points, it can start to undermine what you're actually saying," she reveals. "It makes it hard for the reader to tell what's truly important and what’s just awkward filler excitement. I usually suggest no more than one per short email, and if it’s a longer email, two max—and never use them back-to-back.”Related: Psychologists Are Begging Women To Remove These 15 Phrases from Their Vocabulary
Why Do Some People Overuse Exclamation Points?
If you're someone who leans on exclamation points, Dr. Slavens tells Parade it’s often driven by an instinct to sound upbeat and personable. “People usually overuse exclamation points because they want to make sure their tone comes across as friendly,” she discloses. “Emails can flatten nuance and a lot of us, especially if we work in helping fields or people-centered roles, would rather sound overly warm than risk sounding cold or rude. It’s less about being unprofessional and more about trying to make sure the other person feels good reading it.”Up Next:
Related: An Etiquette Expert Is Begging People To Stop Writing This One Thing in Emails
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Dr. Caitlin Slavens is a psychologist with over 641K followers on Instagram. Read More Details
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