The thin line between genius and madness has been a fierce debate for decades, from painter Vincent van Gogh to rapper Kanye West. But rarely do we get to see a creative grapple with the dichotomy in real time. In the exposing, emotional Heston: My Life with Bipolar, however, culinary inventor and Michelin star chef Heston Blumenthal does exactly that.
Blumenthal, 59, was diagnosed with bipolar two years ago, though he’d been unknowingly living with the condition for decades. Speaking to camera throughout the BBC Two documentary, he recounts how he knew he wasn’t quite the same as everyone else – he describes feeling that his creativity was “unstoppable”, likening the experience to sweets pouring down from the sky.
It’s this imagination that catapulted Blumenthal to fame, notorious for his mind-boggling creations like snail porridge and bacon and egg ice cream. What he didn’t realise was that he was experiencing “hypomania” – a mental state characterised by increased energy and euphoria, which contrasted drastically with the deep depression he would self-medicate with cocaine. In the days before he was sectioned, Blumenthal thought he could solve the world’s water crisis and hallucinated a gun on his kitchen table.
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Two years on from his diagnosis, Blumenthal’s mood has stabilised, thanks to the myriad medicines he takes. But they are not without their side effects: his speech has slowed and they have made him gain weight, but the chef’s main concern with his new routine is whether the drugs will quash his creativity.
A meeting with a psychiatrist, Dr Nick Prior, who also lives with bipolar, puts his worries into perspective. “I would argue that the sacrifices you make by allowing the bipolar to go rampant and potentially have these moments of brilliance does have a negative impact,” he reminds Blumenthal. “That’s the reason I take my medication … I want to be a consistent, loving husband and father.”
Indeed, one of the most touching moments in the film comes when Blumenthal meets up with his son Jack, who is also a chef. While Blumenthal was oblivious to the effects his mental state was having on his family, Jack tells him just how difficult it was to spend time together. “We just wanted a relaxing conversation with our dad, and we weren’t allowed to have one. You didn’t want to know anyone’s thoughts. I just don’t think you gave a s***,” he says.
It’s while having these tough, tender conversations where Blumenthal breaks into tears, apologising profusely. But, as we learn later in the film, bipolar doesn’t always give families the chance for such reconciliation.
Natalie McLellan’s daughter died by suicide after she struggled to get help with managing her bipolar disorder (Photo: BBC Studios/Joe Myerscough)Rebecca McLellan was diagnosed with bipolar at 22 – she died by suicide just two years later. Blumenthal meets her mum, Natalie, who remembers with bravery her daughter’s struggle to get in touch with mental health services. She shows a video of Rebecca at a crisis clinic, where she is told to leave and threatened with the police – it’s a disgusting, all too revealing example of how people with mental illnesses can be treated even when they are trying to get help. Blumenthal cries again – as did I.
The stats alone are shocking enough to cause an outcry: there are 1.3 million people living with bipolar in the UK (that’s more than have dementia), yet it can take up to 10 years to be correctly diagnosed. A third of those with a diagnosis are only given one after they have been sectioned. Suicide rates among people with bipolar are increasing.
Yet it seems we will only pay attention when a celebrity spills their own guts out, exposing their own worst moments. Heston Blumenthal shouldn’t have to cry on camera for us to care. Yet, if his film helps just one person reach out for help, it will be worth it.
‘Heston: My Life with Bipolar’ is streaming on BBC iPlayer
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