A 2025 study of more than 10,000 people uncovered an interesting trend in relationships — a pattern researchers call “terminal decline.”
The findings revealed that relationship dissatisfaction doesn’t appear out of nowhere, rather, it builds over time.
According to the study, many couples experience a subtle drop in satisfaction years before a breakup.
This phase is often followed by a steeper decline just months before the actual split.
Even with a clear pattern, many people don’t recognize the signs until it’s too late. Psychologists have long cautioned against ignoring the subtle signals of a relationship in decline.
In a recent article for Forbes, American psychologist Mark Travers outlined three signs that, according to him, may indicate your relationship is already in the pre-breakup stage.
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1. "You Feel Relieved When You Imagine Life Without Them"
“Fantasies of freedom often show up before a breakup, not because you want to hurt them, but because you want to feel like yourself again,” Travers wrote on June 11.
He explained that emotional disconnection often comes in gradually.
You may find yourself pulling back from meaningful conversations or fixing conflicts — not because you don’t care, but because you “no longer have the energy to keep trying.”
2. "You’re Constantly Exhausted, But Can’t Explain Why"
If you find yourself making excuses or replaying missed opportunities to speak up, it could be a sign of deeper emotional fatigue.
As Travers said, “the emotional labor has started to outweigh the connection you’re trying so hard to maintain.”
He cited a 2023 study in Family Relations that examined dual-earner couples and found that uneven emotional labor was a major source of stress.
Travers suggests that if your body feels drained while your mind insists things are fine, that disconnect might be telling you something important.
3. "You Keep Wondering If You Should Leave"
Finally, Travers pointed out that people on the brink of a breakup often begin questioning why they’re still in the relationship.
“You start feeling like you’re the only one in the relationship who keeps trying, feeling a little lonelier each day,” he wrote.
In support of this, Travers referenced a 2024 study published in Emotion, where researchers found that people conflicted about their partners often experienced “mental whiplash.”
“For the participants in the study, this ambivalence gave rise to far more than just confusion. It shaped their daily behaviors in subtle but significant ways, from overthinking to emotional withdrawal,” he added.
While every relationship has ups and downs, Travers emphasizes that prolonged patterns of burnout may signal more than just a rough patch.
Recognizing these signs early could help people reflect more on their emotional needs and take action before it’s too late.
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