As ever, controversy has been sparked by a video which was posted by Meghan, Duchess of Sussex. On Wednesday night to mark the fourth birthday of the daughter she shares with Prince Harry, Lilibet, she posted a short clip to Instagram. It showed the couple dancing to the viral TikTok song “The baby momma dance” in a hospital room, Meghan heavily pregnant and yet somehow still a far more agile dancer than her rather stiff husband.
The caption on the video read, “Four years ago today, this also happened. Both of our children were a week past their due dates… so when spicy food, all that walking, and acupuncture didn’t work – there was only one thing left to do!”.
The couple have been branded “undignified” and “cringe” for sharing such a sneak peek into their lives, with one X user even suggesting they have “invaded their OWN privacy”. It comes five years after they left the Royal Family to start a new life in the US. The suggestion that they did so because they wanted a more “private” life, once the subject of an entire episode of South Park, has actually been discredited by the couple – who asserted in 2022 that they never actually cited privacy as a reason for stepping back from Royal life at all.
I didn’t have much of an opinion on any of this discourse when I first saw the video, however. I didn’t feel compelled to rate their dance moves or analyse their motives for sharing it. All I could think was how very different our labour experiences must have been. Having given birth to two children, I can honestly say having a content plan was not a part of my birth plan.
Although I am starting to wonder if I am in the minority for this. With “birth” and “labour” hashtags now clocking up almost a million videos on TikTok, making videos in the delivery room (often with trending sounds and concepts to try and help them go viral) is just another way content creators are sharing their lives.
It is perhaps no coincidence that this video was shared now, since social media has been a big part of Meghan’s rebrand since rejoining Instagram properly this year to coincide with the launch of her Netflix lifestyle show, With Love, Meghan, and e-commerce site As Ever. Don’t forget, she isn’t new to any of this, having had a successful lifestyle blog, The Tig. prior to abandoning all online presence when she became a Royal. Being able to share moments such as this after a long social media hiatus must feel like taking her online power back, and why not?
Reality star and influencer Francesca Farago and her partner Jesse Sullivan, for example, made a TikTok video using the same “Baby momma” sound as Meghan and Harry (which features the lyrics, “baby mamas, this your song, been pregnant for way too long”) when she was in a hospital gown, about to have twins last year. It got 818.7k likes from fans, many of whom admitted they were constantly refreshing the app for live updates of the twins’ arrival.
Influencer Campbell Puckett, known as “Pookie” on TikTok, posted a video of herself applying a full face of make-up whilst 8cm dilated in order to get content during and after her labour – it got five million views. Having a baby has become big business for many momfluencers, who rack up followers, likes and views with pregnancy announcements, gender reveals, and now, increasingly, carefully curated, aesthetically pleasing or funny labour content which helps build their brand.
With every video like Meghan’s I see, the more I think about how my own labour experiences were a little less jaunty. When I had my first baby in 2022, my husband and I were rowing about the fact he’d decided to make a curry from scratch just before I went into the hospital to be induced, meaning the entire room, and everything we’d brought with us smelled of garlic (he claimed the cooking calmed his nerves).
I was so miserable, frightened and anxious about my health and the health of my baby after a difficult pregnancy. I certainly was not in the mood to prop my camera up and suggest a choreographed dance. Once the drugs did their thing and the contractions started, I would rather have propelled myself into space than open up TikTok to find a trending sound. My labour was traumatic, long and ended in the emergency theatre.
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Second time round, last year, my daughter burst into the world within 45 minutes of us arriving at the hospital and there was barely time to hand my phone to a midwife so she could take some rushed snaps, let alone suggest some TikTok concepts (which I imagine would have gone down like a cup of cold sick with the medical team around me, given it was 3am and I was screaming).
Rather than judging them, I’m actually in awe of those women, like Meghan, who can find the fun in their births. That was so far from my own experience, I actually enjoy seeing women who are able to have a blast at a time when they probably feel a little scared. It almost certainly helped them feel more relaxed about what was ahead, and they have happy memories committed to film.
Maybe it’s the geriatric millennial in me, but I opted for a simple photo to announce both of my children’s births. I’ll leave the childbirth choreo to the influencers, but I’m cheering them all on.
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