If you can’t wait for April Fool’s Day to be duped by an official piece of communication that turns out to be a joke, may I direct you today to a post on X by Hadja Lahbib, the European Union’s commissioner for equality, preparedness and crisis management.
Lahbib presents a video in which she explains that the EU “is preparing its strategy to be sure that every citizen is safe in case of crisis”. So, to the accompaniment of jazz piano, she soberly instructs the 449 million EU residents on how to survive the first 72 hours in the event of a natural disaster or a military attack.
She begins by saying that having your glasses is “super important if you want to see what’s happening”. “Or not,” she adds jauntily. The piece to camera continues in the same vein. We need to make sure we have food because we “might be hungry”, we need cash because, in a crisis, “cash is king”, some water “because water is life”, and what she terms her “special friend”, a Swiss Army knife. Pack all this in a bag, and you’ll be able to survive anything for three days.
Oh, and don’t forget a pack of playing cards, because “a bit of distraction never hurt anyone”. “Be prepared. Be safe,” says Lahbib, as she cradles her survival bag. It’s a joke, surely. Who said that those Brussels bureaucrats don’t have a sense of humour?
Except that it’s not a joke. And neither should we treat it as such. Lahbib’s video may be risible, but the purpose behind the EU’s initiative certainly is not. In its official communiqué, the European Commission explains that these extraordinary times require its people to take proactive measures in the face of emerging threats.
“From growing geopolitical tensions and conflicts, hybrid and cyber security threats, foreign information manipulation and interference, to climate change and increasing natural disasters,” the commission says, “the EU needs to be ready to protect its citizens and the key societal functions that are crucial for democracy and daily life”.
square SIMON KELNER
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Read MoreBlimey. If you weren’t already anxious about what’s going on in the world today, you will be now. I don’t imagine there will be queues at cashpoints from Paris to Poznan over the weekend, or a massive spike in the sales of cartes à jouer, but – Lahbib’s video aside – it’s hard not to take the EU’s initiative seriously.
The casual disregard for the proprieties of diplomacy shown by the Trump administration, the informal way in which their military action is planned (which have been laid before the public in recent days), and the contempt in which they seemingly hold Europe and its citizens (“pathetic” in the words of the US Defence Secretary), are all very real threats to our way of life, and maybe even our safety. We can no longer count on America’s support, military or economic, and that is an enormous geopolitical shift for our continent.
Russia’s invasion of Ukraine has clearly raised the terrible prospect of a broader conflict in Europe. So much so that Germany announced last year that it is educating its people to make them kriegstüchtig (war-efficient, or prepared) and the Swedish government distributed a pamphlet called “If Crisis or War comes”. So dismiss this as scaremongering if you like, but we look to the state to protect us from danger, and we can’t be sniffy when the European superstate takes such steps.
So do take a look at Hadja Lahbib’s video. Have a laugh at the sententiousness of it. And don’t feel the need to stockpile tins of baked beans over the weekend. But please don’t dismiss the earnest intent that lies behind it.
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