Should kids be paid to do chores? Some parents swear by it, claiming that it teaches financial responsibility, however others, like myself, believe that paying kids to put their dirty socks in the laundry basket (instead of next to it) is setting them up for a lifetime of unrealistic expectations.
Hanging the washing, making a bed, vacuuming… these are all fundamental tasks in adulthood. And if kids only associate chores with making money, they may not see the value in doing them when there’s no cash incentive – and that is how you end up with a 22-year-old who can’t work a washing machine.
Our home is not a hotel, rather, it is a shared space where we all have to contribute to its upkeep, and to keep it fair, nobody gets paid for the parts that they contribute to. I don’t get a salary for scrubbing the bathroom, my husband doesn’t put in an invoice for hoovering the living room, and my kids don’t earn a quid every time they tidy their toys away.
By getting money involved, we send the message that the household responsibilities can be optional and only worth doing because there is a financial gain, but what happens when the kids don’t need the money? They will likely opt out of helping, because there is no expectation to wash dishes.
One parent told me she gives her 13-year-old £100 a month and then pays £2 per chore, of which her teen can do several and earns between £10 and £20 a week just in chores! Personally, I feel that is excessive.
Instead, reinforcing a different lesson, “We all pitch in because we all live here”, is a better way of teaching kids that regardless of whether they are compensated, they will always have responsibilities. I want my kids to wash the dishes because they are dirty, not because they will bank a couple of quid.
I have zero interest in financial negotiations every time the washing needs hanging, or the living room needs dusting, and by making chores an expectation, rather than a choice, we avoid the kids holding us hostage over the feather duster or a basket of damp washing. We also avoid the power struggle when they refuse to do the chores and their “wages” are being docked.
My kids get their pocket money based on things like how kind and respectful they have been, completing homework, and tidying up after themselves. This way they learn other vital life skills: how to be financially savvy, while contributing to the household without bribes and experiencing the natural consequences of not pitching in.
They want their bed made? It is up to them to make it, otherwise it won’t get done. They want their favourite T-shirt washed? It needs to be in the wash basket, or it won’t get cleaned. They don’t want to lose their favourite toy? It needs to be put away properly.
square KIRSTY KETLEY
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Read MoreTheir money is free for them to spend as they wish (within reason) and if they want to earn extra cash, they can do tasks beyond their normal household contributions, like cleaning the car or mowing the lawn.
So no, I don’t pay my kids to do chores, because I am not running a mini housekeeping business where money is exchanged for sweeping the kitchen floor. They get money because they are being responsible members of our household and the expectation to contribute stands whether they are flush with cash or broke after buying Lego, stationery or lip balm.
Not only does this system mean that there are no power struggles, it raises kids who understand responsibility, how to work household appliances and importantly, ensures that we don’t hear, “How much will you pay me?”, when someone is asked to put the shopping away. Because in our house, chores are part of life, not opportunities for financial gain.
Kirsty Ketley is a parenting consultant and freelance writer
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