I didn’t move to Mexico to save money. I moved to buy back my future ...Middle East

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I wasn’t sitting on a beach when I decided to move to Mexico. I was sitting in my car in California, thinking about what would happen to someone I loved. 

My former partner of 38 years, Sanders—whom we called Sandy—was experiencing dementia-related symptoms. Although we were no longer a couple, we shared a daughter and remained family. I remembered the extensive care his aging parents had required, and wondered what Sandy might need in the years ahead. 

After more than three decades in California real estate, I was also contemplating my own future. I wasn’t ready to retire, but I wanted to change how I lived and worked. That day, I realized I didn’t need a better retirement plan. I needed different variables. 

I decided to establish a home base in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, where I had been visiting for nearly 25 years. 

I thought I was planning for a future caregiving challenge. I had no idea how quickly that future would arrive. 

Rethinking the retirement equation 

Americans are encouraged to focus on a retirement number: How much have we saved, and will it be enough? 

But where we live can influence how much we need, the healthcare we can access and the communities we build. 

I understood real estate from both sides of the transaction. Alongside my brokerage career, I had owned rental properties and other investments. I still own real estate in Sonoma County, California, and Texas. 

For approximately a year, I rented a two-bedroom San Francisco apartment for $3,800 a month while considering a transition. In Puerto Vallarta, I found a much larger four-bedroom home with a pool for approximately $3,000. 

I wasn’t abandoning my investments. I was discovering that where I owned property didn’t have to determine where I lived.

I should disclose that I continue working in California and Puerto Vallarta real estate and may benefit professionally when people relocate or purchase property through me. 

But the most important return on my move would have nothing to do with property. 

When the future arrived 

I returned to Sonoma to bring Sandy to Puerto Vallarta. 

He had been waiting months for specialist evaluations in California. Through a medical concierge recommended by colleagues, we arranged a neurologist appointment within 10 days of his arrival. The consultation cost approximately $60; an MRI cost about $300. 

We began establishing routines. We walked to shops and the beach, attended social gatherings and participated in community activities. Sandy started yoga classes and made new friends. 

Then he fell. 

One evening, he apparently became disoriented while out alone and fell and hit his head. Medical examinations initially revealed no major injury, but his condition deteriorated. 

I found him on the bathroom floor one day, unable to get up. We arranged nursing assistance. He seemed to improve, but after a brief trip when I left him with a private nurse at home I returned to find him seriously unwell. 

A urologist discovered an obstruction involving a medical device implanted after earlier prostate cancer treatment. Sandy underwent emergency surgery and spent three days in a private hospital. 

When he returned home, we brought in a hospital bed and arranged round-the-clock nursing. I thought he would recover. 

Instead, his condition worsened. 

I felt as though I were aboard a locomotive that kept gathering speed, unable to slow it down. The future I had been planning for was suddenly happening inside my own home. 

What care really costs 

The hospital treatment and surgery cost approximately $8,000. Nursing assistance, including eight days of continuous home care, totaled about $7,000. Physician visits and medication for pain management added another $1,000. 

That was approximately $16,000 in medical and nursing expenses. 

It was a substantial amount, and I wouldn’t suggest every family could afford it. Nor can I claim the same care would necessarily have cost more out of pocket in California, where insurance coverage could have changed the calculation. 

What mattered was our ability to arrange private care quickly, in our home, with people we trusted.

As Sandy declined, I called his sister and our daughter, Anna, who traveled from Madrid. 

Our family gathered around his bedside. Nurses attended to his needs while we spent time together. An anesthesiologist visited to help manage his pain. 

Anna arrived two days before Sandy died. She slept in the room where his hospital bed stood and was beside him when his breathing changed early one morning. 

The experience was heartbreaking. But the support around us allowed us to be his family rather than manage every aspect of his care ourselves. 

I had established a home in Mexico hoping it would give us more choices as we aged. I never imagined it would so quickly become the place where we said goodbye. 

Healthcare across borders 

Living abroad doesn’t eliminate medical or financial risks. 

Original Medicare generally doesn’t cover care in Mexico, although some Medicare Advantage plans provide benefits for qualifying emergencies and urgent care abroad. 

I maintain Kaiser Permanente Medicare Advantage coverage for my time in California and separate international health insurance through VUMI. I generally pay privately for routine care in Puerto Vallarta. Both policies have limitations, and residency requirements and emergency coverage deserve careful review. 

Sandy’s medical expenses were submitted to Kaiser for possible reimbursement; a determination remains pending. 

Anyone contemplating retirement abroad should investigate insurance, emergency arrangements and the ability to pay upfront before making the move. 

Buying back the future 

I expected Mexico to offer lower living expenses. What surprised me was the importance of community. 

Through work, volunteering and friendships, I had built relationships that became invaluable during Sandy’s illness. 

Moving abroad isn’t right for everyone. Distance from family, unfamiliar systems and language barriers are real considerations. I still value my California connections. 

But Sandy’s illness changed how I think about retirement. 

Having options meant reaching a specialist when we needed answers. It meant arranging nurses when he could no longer safely be alone. It meant bringing a hospital bed into our home. 

And ultimately, it meant giving Anna and our family time to sit beside him.

No geography protects us from illness or grief. But where we live can change the resources, relationships and possibilities available when life takes an unexpected turn. 

I thought I was building options for a distant future. 

Sandy taught me how urgently we may need them. 

And why we should begin building them before we do.

The opinions expressed in Fortune.com commentary pieces are solely the views of their authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and beliefs of Fortune.

This story was originally featured on Fortune.com

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