I learned over time that the problem with excessive self-reliance or stoicism is that it isn’t always, or even often, effective. As a psychologist, I had to learn and teach myself, as well as my patients, the importance of asking for help when one needs it. As I tell my patients (and as I learned to tell myself), we do ourselves a disservice by not asking for and accepting help when we need it.
There are many reasons why people don’t like to ask for help. One is we think we should be able to do everything for ourselves. We feel like if we ask others for help that we will look weak or needy. We might fear rejection or are concerned with imposing on others. We may be concerned that asking someone for help gives people some kind of power or leverage over us. We may even believe that receiving help from others means we owe someone something back.
The next step is figuring out what help we could benefit from, and knowing how, when, and who to ask for help. Doing this helps set us up for success.
Once we figure out the needs we have, we can spot which ones might benefit from support and assistance. Let’s say we don’t want to go to the end-of-summer company picnic alone and would prefer a plus-one to come with us. There’s nothing wrong—and, dare I say, everything right—with asking another person to accompany us. But we need to be strategic.
I really like a treatment called Seeking Safety. Though originally designed for trauma survivors who have co-occurring PTSD and substance abuse, these are behavioral, cognitive, and people skills that have wider applicability. For example, in regards to asking for help, the method suggests that people consider starting small, practicing on safe people with simple requests. It may seem obvious, but your odds of getting a ride to a job interview or doctor’s appointment are higher than if you ask someone for money to pay this month’s rent or the next car payment.
When we ask for help, we also must be prepared for someone to say no. If they do, we must learn not to take it personally. Most of the time, their reasons for refusal are not about us. It could be about their own time management, finances, or resources.
I agree, and I need that reminder sometimes when my old imprint comes back to me, and I think that I need to have all the answers and take care of everyone but me.
I’m human. I deserve support, connection, and help, just like everyone else. And so do you.
Hence then, the article about how to recognize and ask for help when you need it was published today ( ) and is available on Time ( Middle East ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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