This Just In — Another giant has fallen.
I met Gloria Steinem once, for about 15 seconds at a book signing in Chapel Hill, probably 30 years ago. Remarkable to me was that she wasn’t the 10 foot tall presence that I imagined. She was of normal human height. She was quiet, polite with a blistering intellect and the accompanying sense of humor.
Like the fictional Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada, Steinem demonstrated that you needn’t speak loudly to be commanding.
Now we know, too, that she was mortal. At 92, Steinem has left us to fend for ourselves. Thankfully she spent most of her life transforming our society to make it possible for women to fulfill their hopes and dreams independently.
“You’re either a feminist or a masochist,” she once said. That might seem hard core to some, but it wasn’t. It was her admonition to women that resisting feminism was in service to a patriarchy that exploited us.
Feminist Gloria Steinem appears in New York on Feb. 17, 1970. (Photo via AP Photo/Anthony Camerano.)
Her humor might have been her most under-appreciated asset in the war on inequality. Marrying late in life (at 66) she said “I can’t mate in captivity.” Probably her most famous quip was that women need men like a fish needs a bicycle.
Laughter is the one emotion, she said, that cannot be forced or compelled on anyone. Humor can cut through a lot of nonsense and reach people who might be otherwise dug in and hopelessly resistant. Steinem knew this and while no one would confuse her with a stand up comic, she could dish with tremendous efficacy and thought. Laughter, she said, is “an orgasm of the mind” that can happen when opposites collide.
As a leader of a sexual revolution, she acknowledged that women are often sexualized for the sake of diminishment. She used that in her humor, describing Richard Nixon as “the most sexually insecure chief of state since Napoleon.” Ouch!
Steinem defined leadership as an act of multiplying power and sharing platforms. She demonstrated this concept all across her adult life, co-founding magazines and political empowerment foundations and alliances.
It seems clear to me that if an organization’s founding didn’t have “we can do this together” at its core, Steinem wouldn’t be interested. Listening, she said, was among the most powerful communication skills for empowering people.
Imagine the strength and humility of thinking that listening to other people is the way to lead them. Oh, Gloria.
That’s respect and humility, not weakness. You’d best never confuse Steinem for getting squishy in her last years. She was interviewed (along with other folks) this year in an article that was going to mark the president’s 80th birthday. In the business, we would call this a “puff piece.”
Steinem was asked what her advice would be to the 47th president as he began his ninth decade of life. Perhaps the interviewer expected something like “get enough sleep” or “hydrate.”
Her answer was classic Steinem. “Resign.”
Jean Bolduc is a freelance writer and is the author of “African Americans of Durham & Orange Counties: An Oral History” (History Press, 2016) and has served on Orange County’s Human Relations Commission, The Alliance of AIDS Services-Carolina, the Orange County Housing Authority Board of Commissioners, and the Orange County Schools’ Equity Task Force. She was a featured columnist and reporter for the Chapel Hill Herald and the News & Observer.
Readers can reach Jean via email – jean@penandinc.com and via Twitter @JeanBolduc
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