Arora could see that her daughter had taped the spoon to something. But instead of spoiling the trick, she acted amazed: “How did you do that?” Her daughter’s face lit up. She explained how she had devised the illusion, what had inspired her, and the trial and error involved in making a spoon float. The real magic, it turned out, wasn’t the spoon. It was what happened when a parent who knew the answer kept quiet and let her child become the expert.
A child doesn’t need a magic trick—or even a particularly impressive skill—to experience that same role reversal. Simply asking your kid to teach you something once a week can boost their confidence, strengthen their communication skills, and give you a glimpse into parts of their world you might otherwise miss.
For once, the parent stops being the authority and becomes a curious student. That can be especially powerful for children who struggle in school, says Alex Anderson-Kahl, a school psychologist and founder of Raise Strong, which offers practical tools and coaching for parents. Parents get to see that “competence doesn’t just live on a report card,” he says.
“You’re giving the child an actual opportunity to show their confidence,” Anderson-Kahl says. Plus, the lesson offers clues about how they think: how they organize information, communicate an idea, and respond when someone doesn’t understand.
What exactly is a child practicing while teaching a parent? “It would be easier to say what they aren’t,” says Michelle Retsky, a speech-language pathologist and founder of Words in Motion Therapy.
The exercise can be particularly helpful for shy kids and reluctant communicators, Retsky says. A child who has little to say about school might happily talk for 20 minutes about a favorite video game or movie. They’re speaking from familiar territory, without worrying that an adult will judge or grade their answer.
Find an organic opening
There’s no need to formally schedule your child’s weekly lesson. Announcing that every Tuesday at 7 p.m. is now Teach Your Parent Night is an excellent way to transform a fun idea into homework.
For younger kids, concrete activities are often easiest. Ask them to show you how to draw a monster, build a LEGO house, make a play-dough pizza, or perform a favorite dance. School-age kids might teach you a basketball rule, explain the strategy behind a video game, or demonstrate how they created something. With teenagers, Anderson-Kahl suggests asking: “What’s something kids your age understand that adults don’t?” They might explain a slang term, a piece of technology, a social-media controversy, or why millions of people are refreshing the TikTok feed of a creator you’ve never heard of.
Make sure your curiosity is real. One common mistake Anderson-Kahl sees is parents performing over-the-top enthusiasm because they think that’s what supportive parenting looks like. “Kids can pick up on that so easily,” Anderson-Kahl says. “Your kid knows when you’re faking it.” You might not care about Minecraft itself, but you can be genuinely curious about why your child chose a certain block, how they made a structure stay upright, or what they plan to build next. The goal isn’t to convince them that you’ve suddenly become a devoted Fortnite fan; it’s to understand what they enjoy about it.
The more often you demonstrate sincere interest, Retsky says, the more likely your child is to open up. When kids explain why a video-game character or social-media trend matters to them, “they’re revealing their values, social pressures, and interests without feeling judged or interrogated,” she says. In other words, the lesson might offer a window into their inner life—without making them feel like they’ve been summoned for a Serious Conversation.
Resist the urge to take over
That means not interrupting to correct their grammar, improve their technique, supply a missing fact, or demonstrate the more efficient method you developed during your additional decades on Earth.
Unless your kid is doing something dangerous, resist the urge to fact-check in real time. The point isn’t for them to create a perfectly accurate tutorial; it’s to give them space to organize and express their thoughts without slipping from creative mode into defensive-performance mode.
Parents might need to adopt a metaphorical version of that posture. Let pauses linger instead of rescuing your child with the answer, and if they get tangled up, ask a question rather than taking over. Even if you have something useful to add, Arora advises waiting until “they’ve said everything” and shared their entire thought process before imparting your own knowledge.
It also models an important lesson: Adults don’t know everything, and there’s nothing embarrassing about that. “You will never know everything,” Retsky says. “The most important thing is to ask questions. The most important thing is to be curious.”
And if the conversation goes nowhere? That’s OK, too. Retsky considers this one of the rare parenting strategies with an unusually positive worst-case scenario. Even if your child declines to teach, responds in monosyllables, or wanders away midway through the lesson, they still received the message: “My parent cares about something I care about.”
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