We are facing an insidious threat to our interpersonal skills, driven not just by AI's growing capabilities, but by our own diminishing opportunities to actually practice communicating. The expansion of our digital lives has already caused a roughly 28% drop in the words we speak daily between 2005 and 2019, and leaning on AI shrinks those vital practice moments even further. Ultimately, when we offload too much to AI, we aren't just taking a convenient shortcut; we are actively causing our fundamental capabilities to atrophy and increasing our communication anxiety because we know that if we are challenged, we might not have the depth of knowledge to respond.
Communicating authentically, revealing our humanness, increases our value by serving as a real-time signal of trust and genuine effort. Because anyone can now generate flawlessly polished text, unscripted moments containing natural flaws and foibles demonstrate that we’re actually investing our own labor and personal touch into the exchange.
I experienced this firsthand not long ago when I logged on to speak to 800 people at a live virtual event on best practices for classroom teaching of MBA students. I expected a standard Q&A, but upon arriving, I learned the organizers actually needed me to present solo for 30 minutes. Drawing on my knowledge of the material, I spoke completely impromptu. Did I occasionally veer into a non-sequitur or mangle a sentence? Yes. But the aftermath was a flood of emails from attendees praising the session. They were refreshed to have a speaker who wasn’t reciting a script or hiding behind slides. They appreciated my being me while communicating.
As humans evolve for the AI era, I created the TRUST framework to help my students at Stanford communicate effectively while embracing their authentic imperfections. Here is how you can use it to project your humanity and establish genuine connection.
For instance, during a recent virtual presentation, I didn't just share teaching theory; I admitted how I had struggled mightily to manage learners of different ability levels, sharing my own insecurity about boring expert students and how it led me to over-monitor their reactions.
Real-time processing
When responding to a complex chat question regarding non-native speakers during my event, I simply paused and said, “Give me a moment to reflect on this important point.”
Utilize tailored, local evidence
To illustrate the challenges of speaking a non-native language, I shared an embarrassing personal story about my own struggles teaching in Beijing.
For decades, communication coaches counseled clients to ruthlessly eliminate verbal tics and awkward pauses. In the age of AI, those exact imperfections add something vital: a sense of your humanness. You shouldn't go overboard with "uhs" and "ums," but you also shouldn't strive to expunge them completely. My own tendency is to repeat phrases I have recently heard.
Tip off the audience to your perspective
During my presentation, I shared that I love puzzles, and that I find the task of crafting unique activities for my students to be among the most fun puzzles to solve.
Throughout our education and experience, we have been conditioned to hide behind a veneer of perfection, but now that perfection is only a prompt away, people are incredibly ready to reward us when we let our authentic selves shine. In a landscape crowded with pixel-perfect output, projecting your humanity is the ultimate way to build trust, to connect, and ultimately to enhance your influence and impact.
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