While helpful, those tips are unfortunately not foolproof or fail-safe. After all, we can’t control what others think, and we can easily turn people off even when we don’t say the “wrong” thing. At the same time, having that kind of information in your back pocket is a smart first step. While nobody is perfect or liked by everyone, certain phrases are usually no-gos in social situations—and some are more surprising than others.
Related: These 11 Habits Will Make People Dislike You Fast, Etiquette Experts Warn
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While this comment may be true (and even a sign of concern or care), it’s not one to say.
She encourages genuinely asking how the person is instead.
2. “I’m not trying to be rude, but…”
Usually, if you have to say this, you’re about to say something rude.
Did this phrase just drain excitement and happiness out of your body? It can do that. It “dismisses someone’s joy, accomplishment or good news by reframing it as unearned luck,” Dreizen explains. “It makes the other person feel guilty for sharing something positive.”
Related: 7 Phrases That Subtly Suggest Someone Feels Resentful, Psychologists Warn
4. “I could never do that”
“It draws a line between your choices and theirs, and the other person feels it,” Dreizen shares.
“This tells someone that what they just shared—maybe something they learned the hard way—should have been obvious,” she says.
6. “You always…” or “You never…”
“Even when the pattern is real, framing it as ‘always’ or ‘never’ puts people on the defensive immediately,” Dreizen explains.
While honesty is important, it needs to be paired with kindness. If someone says a phrase like this, it’s probably to cover for a rude comment.
Related: Psychologists Say People Who Have ‘Absolutely No Filter’ Likely Have These 7 Traits
8. “It’s not that hard”
“Saying this out loud makes someone feel small for struggling,” Dreizen explains.
Even if you truly don’t care or are trying to be agreeable, she adds, it can shut down conversation and make future comments sound petty.
10. “You’re too sensitive”
“This tells someone that their emotional response is wrong, which is a hard thing to come back from in a conversation,” Dreizen warns.
Related: 12 Signs You Might Be a ‘Highly Sensitive Person,’ According to a Therapist
11. “Let me play devil’s advocate.”
“I am not sure who suggested the devil needs an advocate, but I suggest they do not,” Dreizen says.
How To Avoid These Phrases Altogether—With Strangers or in General
Thinking before you speak and being mindful of how certain phrases come across are important steps to foster healthy communication. Dreizen finds that the phrases above “are not curious, warm or welcoming.”
“See their joy, tiredness, excitement as an invitation to connection instead of something to be proven, questioned or picked apart,” she suggests. “A breath and a reminder of where you want this relationship to go is a good step in the right direction.”
So we know what’s unlikable. What about the opposite? Get this: Being “likable” with strangers doesn’t mean what you may think it does.
To do this, she suggests asking questions, actually listening to their answers and allowing their stories to be their stories without trying to match or “one-up” them.
Remembering that connection matters more than precision is also key, the etiquette expert says.
Last but not least, and when in doubt, she emphasizes helping people feel good about what they say.
Up Next:
Related: Etiquette Experts Say These 8 Nonverbal Habits Make You Seem Rude Without Realizing It
Source:
Genevieve (Jenny) Dreizen is the COO and co-founder of Fresh Starts Registry, a modern-day etiquette and boundaries expert and the author of Simple Scripts to Support Your People: What to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say.Hence then, the article about 11 phrases that make you instantly unlikable with strangers according to an etiquette expert was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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