When you have such a high level of awareness of another person's needs in a situation, you can give them the attention and care they need."It can allow for someone to make a helpful change in a moment, too, that can improve a situation," she continues.As valuable as high empathy can be, she shares that it can have its pitfalls, as well. For example, sometimes it can also manifest as certain "bad" habits. But even though these behaviors can be perceived negatively, it doesn't mean they necessarily cross a line; however, you have to make sure they don't.
"Having a solid sense of where the 'healthy' spot is for habits provides a frame of reference to strive for," the psychologist says. "It also helps us differentiate when and perhaps how far over that line we are at times. For instance, taking someone into consideration is healthy, but always putting their needs and wants before yours is problematic."So, are your "bad" quirks serving you because you're very compassionate, or are they holding you back? Dr. Smith shares seven "bad" habits that actually signal high empathy (and when they could become problematic).Related: Child Psychologist Reveals: ‘This Is the Best Children’s Show To Work on Empathy in Kids and Grandkids’
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It's helpful to know when someone is acting differently, but we're not always accurate in determining why something is up. Even people with high empathy aren't mind readers. The way you react to someone's different behavior is key here."Sensing that something is 'off,' and asking about it can be helpful," Dr. Smith shares. "However, sensing that something is 'off,' guessing or assuming what it is and acting as if [your guess] is accurate is problematic."Related: 7 Signs You’re Not ‘Too Sensitive’—You’re Actually Highly Perceptive, a Psychologist Says
2. Difficulty appropriately taking yourself into consideration
"It goes back to the sentiment that one cannot pour from an empty cup," she emphasizes. "The reality is, some self-consideration is needed to keep you healthy enough to be able to be there for others."
"It is a positive to be able to sense what someone else is experiencing," Dr. Smith states. "The 'bad habit' part is not having a healthy emotional distance of knowing this is the other person’s experience and instead experiencing it as if it is your own experience."
4. Attentiveness to helping “make things better” for someone
It's caring to want to be a helper, especially when you want your loved one to have good experiences. Yet, Dr. Smith notes that some people with high empathy have difficulty tolerating a loved one's hard times or emotions.
Highly empathetic people can be natural diplomats and peacekeepers, but this habit can also veer into "problem" zones.
She shares that this habit becomes concerning if it becomes compulsive.
6. A disproportionate sense of being able to exert control
Dr. Smith shares that highly empathetic people can overstimate their impact. They may think, "If I just do X, this difficult situation will get better." She's also seen major empaths go so far as to say, "If I can just do Y, I will completely prevent this from happening."
Dr. Smith notes that this habit can involve looking for signs of the impact you have on others. Sometimes it's appropriate, like when you notice your tone with a colleague yesterday was a bit harsh, and they've been acting distant ever since. Addressing it can repair your relationship. But Dr. Smith shares that people can overanalyze everything they say and do.
Related: How To Stop Worrying That Someone Is Mad at You, According to a Psychologist
Why These Habits Form
"In these situations, being highly attuned to someone else’s state can help them protect themselves better," the psychologist explains.
"Others have high empathy from being taught about empathy and consideration of others," she says. "They practiced those ways and received reinforcement for being empathic."
Here are a few examples of scenarios to watch out for.
You can't pause to consider your needs
"Caring about others is important, but if a person is so focused on others that they are not pausing to take their own needs and wants into consideration, it is a problem," Dr. Smith explains. "One way to make sure you are staying within moderation is to pause to consider what others and yourself may need and want, rather than only focusing on others all the time."
"Caring about others is appropriate and within bounds, but when you are consumed by others' experiences like they are your own and like it is your responsibility, that is problematic," she states.
Related: 11 Boundaries Every Woman Should Set by 40, According to Therapists
You try to "prevent" others from experiencing difficult emotions
"Sometimes a loved one wants to 'take away' anything difficult or distressing for their loved ones," she points out. "When they sense the loved one is experiencing that, they go into 'fix it' mode of working to 'take it away.” That is not possible, nor is it healthy."
Related: The Main Texting Habit That Ruins Relationships, According to a Harvard-Trained Psychologist
Final Takeaways
Highly empathetic people have certain habits. They may play peacekeeper, try to fix others' problems (or save them from tough emotions), and feel others' feelings intensely.Habits form for many reasons. Some people are naturally highly empathetic, while others develop certain habits from childhood experiences or lessons learned over the years.These habits aren't always "bad." It's OK to care about others or to notice if you made someone upset, even if you use an over-the-top, harsh tone. However, Dr. Smith shares that when you become overly focused on preventing another person from experiencing a full range of emotions or on preventing boundary encroachment, it can be detrimental to your well-being.
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Dr. Brandy Smith, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist with Thriveworks.Hence then, the article about these 7 bad habits actually signal high empathy psychologist says was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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