It’s been a while since I went on holiday and had a relaxing swim, so when I hear that London has a new bathing spot that opened on Friday – the first ever designated swimming area on the River Thames – I dig my bikini out and head down there. Bathing season has started.
I’m not much of a wild swimmer – unless frolicking in the Mediterranean with an Aperol Spritz counts, which it doesn’t. Oh, and 10 years ago I swam in the sea in Margate, Kent, and had a great time.
That was the end of that, though. I’ve since avoided swimming in the UK like the plague, because, well, I don’t want to get the plague. Water companies spilled raw sewage into England’s rivers and seas for 1.9 million hours in 2025, according to Environment Agency figures. There’s also been a surge in swimmers getting dysentery and other illnesses, which sound like something Victorian.
My thinking is that immersing oneself in nature is wonderful, but not if it’s followed by a bout of gastrointestinal torture. I have a toddler at nursery who brings home all sorts of bacteria, I don’t need to be actively seeking out illness in my leisure time.
But if this is a designated, official swimming spot then that sounds good doesn’t it? Surely that means someone official has decided it’s okay for humans to venture into the water? A safe, clean bit of my home city to have a splash about in?
The designated bathing spot in South West London. Last year, bathing waters were the most polluted they have been since records began in 1991This bit of South West London – the new spot is known as Thames at Ham – feels almost rural when I arrive on Friday lunchtime; it’s very pretty, and peaceful. The path along the river is lined with weeping willows, and the only the sound is dog walkers crunching along the gravel.
At the swimming spot – which I only find by asking a few locals and almost trespassing on private land – there is a little concrete area, with a ramp, and a big sign about the danger of cold water. There’s nobody else here – not quite the big opening day I’d imagined – but the wind has picked up, making it really quite cold.
Undeterred, I take my socks off – toes in first, other limbs later, maybe – but the moment my feet hit the water I realise I can’t face getting in further. The bikini is staying in my bag.
Even if the weather were better, I’m also not drawn in by the water quality. Call me a coward, but it looks deeply unappealing: murky, full of leaves and bits of something, and look there goes a lump of fresh bird poo floating past my ankle. A small terrier runs past me and jumps straight in, his owner standing well back in a puffa jacket. She throws a sideways glance at my bare feet with some concern.
Even the dog only lasts four seconds before hurtling out again. This doesn’t fill me with confidence. Don’t dogs have famously low standards when it comes to hygiene? And he’s in a fur coat. I make a mental note to perhaps invest in a wetsuit if I want to try this hobby again.
Marlene Lawrence, the founder of the Teddington Bluetits, which has more than 2,000 members, put in the bathing water application alongside her colleaguesAs it turns out, yes I am being a wimp but I have good reason to be sceptical about the water quality. I assumed that a designated spot meant the water would have been tested and checked as safe and clean – but no. All it means is that the area will be monitored this summer, and there will be a weekly testing regime. Over time, the hope is that, as a result of this, the safety of the water will improve.
In fact, campaigners say that getting a river designated as an official swimming area is simply one of the most effective methods of forcing water companies to reduce sewage spills. The criteria for this includes that the area must have at least 100 bathers a day during bathing season (15 May to 30 September), and have toilets a short distance away.
I find it confusing and quite misleading that somewhere could be made an official bathing spot before it is actually decent enough to swim in.
I imagine that for the swimmers who already swim here, having their beloved stretch of river officially checked and monitored will be a wonderful thing. And this London spot is one of 27 new UK locations, 14 of them on rivers, which have been officially designated. Yet, as I sit and survey this lovely riverside scene safely from a bench, with my socks back on my feet, I am haunted by this fact.
The BBC visited the 14 rivers which were tested by the Environment Agency last year for contamination from bacteria linked to human and animal faeces, and 12 of these had water quality rated ‘poor’ and people were advised not to swim.
When this Thames swimming spot was announced, there were some concerns from campaigners about water quality. In 2025, it was reported that rowers in the famous Oxford Cambridge boat race were becoming sick every week due to the river’s poor water quality with members told they were at heighted risk of sepsis, kidney failure and diarrhoea.
If I was braver, and more outdoorsy, perhaps I’d follow the thousands of people who already swim here each year (and who, presumably, keep their head well out of the water.) Yet, isn’t there a flawed logic in the idea that we’re encouraging people to swim in polluted water in order to then prove that it needs to be cleared up? I don’t fancy being a guinea pig for this cause.
I’m genuinely glad that so many people get joy from the river here. But if anything’s going to get me swimming in this green and pleasant land, it’s definitely not this bit of the Thames. I think I’ll head to my local leisure centre instead. And given that it once had a cockroach infestation, that’s really saying something.
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