“In general, older people seem to pull back more and not to think as much about the regrets or what they should do about them,” says lead author Julia Nolte, assistant professor in the department of psychology at Tilburg University in the Netherlands. “We were interested in this difference in the psychological aging process and what it does to us [over] time.”
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The results were striking. Overall, older people weren’t nearly as affected by recent regrets as younger people. And while both old and young reported similar levels of long-term regrets, the older people had less anger, irritation, and embarrassment over what had gone wrong.
The researchers also looked at whether people tended to regret things they had done—called regrets of commission—vs. things they had not done, or regrets of omission. The former kind were based on active choices, like moving to a different city or choosing a spouse. The latter kind occurred when they didn't take an action they otherwise could have, like passing up a lucrative investment or not going to college. Young people had more regrets about things they did, while older people had more regrets about things they did not do.
The researchers did not reach any conclusions about what accounts for the disparity. Seniors may simply be more willing to accept life as it, as opposed to some optimal version. Nolte also suggests that there might be a generational difference at work. Boomers, say, may have had a range of cultural experiences that lead to a more accepting approach to regret than Millennials or Gen Z.
“There might be something in the period of time that people were born,” Nolte says. “That would mean that we wouldn’t necessarily see the same results if we did this study again in 50 years’ time.”
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