As the Philip Larkin poem goes: “They f**k you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do.” And never has there been anyone more prepared to talk about the ways in which a family can “f**k you up” than Prince Harry.
We all know that when it comes to being the troubled son, the wayward brother – the “spare” – Harry has a chip on his shoulder so large you could probably see it from Australia, which (conveniently) is where he is right now.
He’s tagging along on his wife Meghan Markle’s lucrative business trip as she touts her “As Ever” lifestyle brand – including a £1,650-a-ticket “girls’ weekend” in Sydney – and to make himself useful, as well as various charitable endeavours, Harry is doing what he does best: having a go at the Royal Family.
How else to explain the subtext of the speech he gave in Melbourne, at the launch of a report into the mental health of fathers of young children? “The world around us has changed massively, so there is no version of where parenting is going to be the same as we experienced,” he said. “I see parenting evolving all the time. From my perspective, our kids are our upgrades.”
Harry maintained that he wasn’t talking about King Charles per se – “that’s not to say I was an upgrade of my dad or that my kids are an upgrade of me,” he added hastily – but with his foot firmly lodged in his mouth, finished with: “Even if you had the best upbringing in the world, there’s still room for improvement.”
I can’t see Harry getting an invitation to Buckingham Palace for tea any time soon. It was hard enough for him to land even an hour with his father back in September, when the pair had their first face-to-face meeting in 19 months.
But you know what? Who can blame him for making these comments? After all, the relationship between Harry and his dad soured shortly after “Megxit” in 2020, when the Duke and Duchess of Sussex stepped back from senior royal duties.
Their move to Montecito preceded a bombshell interview with Oprah Winfrey in 2021, in which Meghan described the racism she experienced within the palace walls. Since then, Harry has spoken openly about the effects of growing up in “The Firm” on his mental health – and this week said he knew he had to “basically cleanse myself of the past” before becoming a dad.
I get it – boomer parents do not parent the way we do, and it’s not just Harry who’ll be reeling from the differences.
What Harry needs to realise now, though, is that by being so open about the mistakes his dad made, the King is more likely than ever to epitomise that other hallmark of boomer parenting: washing his hands of him and “letting him get on with it”.
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