For Claira, a 41-year-old presenter and women’s empowerment coach, moving in with her friend Mindy was a way to save whilst living in London. But the unconventional living arrangement has turned into something more than just a way to beat the London rental crisis.
I’ve always been quite a free spirit. My mum died of breast cancer when I was nine. My sister Emily was diagnosed at 25 when I was 23, and she died when I was 28, so there’s been a lot of soul-searching in my life that has led me to choose unconventional pathways to success.
Career-wise, I started off as a presenter, working on Sky TV’s live roulette channels, but I realised I wanted to interview people. So I ended up working for what was then Grime Daily, interviewing UK grime artists, rappers and some American artists too. I was then on BBC Radio 1Xtra and worked as a presenter for BT Sport.
The nature of my career has meant that my income has varied. Even during salaried roles like my six-year- tenure at BBC Radio London, where I was doing three shows a week, I’ve never had the typical nine-to-five. Some months are great for pay, some are quieter. Over the years, to keep up with rent and the general cost of living in London, I’ve had to hustle. I’ve worked in a boutique hotel doing overnight reception shifts, and then I’d leave there and go straight to the early breakfast show at BBC Radio 1Xtra. I was always juggling jobs to pay the bills while pursuing the work I loved.
I lived in houseshares throughout my twenties and thirties, but in 2021, across my jobs, I began earning around £50,000 a year. I felt like I could finally afford to take the plunge and began living alone in London. My rent was £2,100 a month for this tiny little cottage in Bethnal Green. It was beautifully tucked away down a little archway, surrounded by an old Jewish cemetery, so it was peaceful and quiet. We even had a WhatsApp group for the little cul-de-sac community.
Paying £2,100 a month pre-bills, on £50,000, doesn’t leave a lot of room to save. Then, suddenly, after two years, my landlords wanted their house back. At the same time, BBC Radio London changed its schedule and cut my shows. I was losing both my home and a chunk of my regular income.
Mindy, left, and Claira have lived together for two yearsRather than succumbing to panic, I put everything into storage and thought I’d try my hand at being nomadic and travelling. However, the day I moved out, I took a real look at all my stuff, and I realised: this is ridiculous. A close friend offered me a room for a few weeks (which turned into a full year) while I figured things out.
But all that changed in January 2024, when I went on a trip to LA with my friend Mindy. She was originally my agent, but over the years our relationship had bloomed, and the trip solidified our friendship.
I don’t know who first brought up the idea of living together, but at the time she was in a flatshare she’d outgrown, and I needed somewhere that felt like home. It just made sense.
We initially looked for somewhere around £2,000 a month total, which was already less than I’d been paying alone. The first house we rented together in late 2024 was £2,450, and I paid the extra £450 because I work from home and really needed an office space.
Even with the additional £450, it was significantly less than living solo. Cutting my housing costs almost in half meant that for the first time, at the age of 41, I could actually save money. I had lived with partners in the past but this was so different.
We split everything in a way that feels fair. In our current house, we pay everything 50/50. We use Splitwise for holidays and shared spending. If it ever gets to the point where one of us pays certain utilities, the other pays the rest, and we settle up periodically. It’s very straightforward. Chore-wise, we split everything 50/50 in the same way – but I will often take the lead with the cooking as I work from home more frequently.
Mindy is 10 years younger than me, so she was 31 when we moved in together. We were expecting some questions, but our family and friends loved our decision. Some of my friends still live at home in their thirties because it works for them, while others are married with children. When you’re in a romantic relationship, sharing living costs is normal, so why is it different if you’re sharing with a friend?
I remember growing up, I had these family friends, my Auntie Rose and Auntie May, who lived in a house together platonically. I think seeing situations like that has really helped me to be more open to alternative housing pathways. It feels strange to think that society validates cohabiting with a romantic partner but views living with a friend in your forties as “less than”. Humans need companionship and community. It shouldn’t have to be romantic to be legitimate.
It’s kind of like a traditional relationship minus the romance. She gets home from work, we cook together or for each other, watch TV, and decompress. We’re both in bed by 10pm.
We’ve done Couch to 5K together. She’d swear at me the whole time, and I’d lie about how far we’d run to keep her going. We have spontaneous fun; picnics in Greenwich, cooking things she’s seen on TikTok, and random bus journeys across London. It’s a level of flexibility that isn’t often the case in your forties because of the traditional pathways to marriage and children.
Our supermarket trips are chaotic, mostly because we have an accidental routine where I’ll walk to meet Mindy at the station after work. We don’t argue, which I think I can credit to our age and overall respect for one another. We have had a few tense moments over spiders. I’m vegan, and I don’t want them killed. She’s terrified of them. If she sees one first, it’s game over. But most importantly, we respect each other’s space. Neither of us is controlling, and it helps that our lifestyles align.
We’ve even spoken about what happens if one of us meets someone romantically. However, we communicate well – it’s the foundation of our relationship – so I’m not worried. We have also spoken about buying somewhere together in the future.
It’s been nearly two years, and we’re genuinely happy. Since I shared our story online, so many women have messaged saying they’re in similar situations but feel ashamed, especially because they don’t own a property. We live in a society that pushes home ownership as the ultimate goal, but mortgages were designed decades ago when houses cost only four or five times your salary, not what they cost now.
If you can consistently pay rent, why can’t you get a mortgage? The system feels outdated, but more than that, I think we need to normalise alternative ways of living. Just because something isn’t traditional doesn’t mean it isn’t joyful or valid.
Me and Mindy live in a co-created home. We have a shared dressing room, a pantry, and a garden. It feels intentional. It’s a real home, which is something I don’t think you should have to compromise on, no matter your stage in life.
Sometimes you have to think outside the box and build a life that actually works for you, not the one you were told to want. A lot of what I do now as a coach is about helping other people feel accepted. My life is alternative to what we’re told is “normal” and although I think those norms are shifting, I don’t want anyone to feel shame or isolation because they don’t fit into a traditional mould.
My biggest lesson has been that no matter what happens to you, you have the power to create a life you love.
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