I admit that being a senior citizen can be a drag. Not that I am absent of energy and sharp mind or things to do but rather my OG mentality can dim the light on the more youthful cultural ways of being. To be more direct, I am deeply troubled by the over-the-top use of profanity and variations of the n* word that have become normalized in our society. I support First Amendment rights, but please can we just stop?
The triggering that motivated me to vent came recently during one of the greatest joys of my life: basketball competition. As a sports media representative, former NCAA DI player and coach, and fan of one of the most popular sports in the world, I was unexpectedly twice exposed to expressions that in the past were kept behind closed doors if not said at all. The type of language that we dare not say in our faith centers, on a job interview, or mixed company is seemingly now the cool way of communication.
The first pain point occurred while covering a college basketball game. I was engaged in small talk with a fellow reporter and was interrupted by the DJ’s attempt to entertain the crowd with the latest jam. It is all about creating energy in the gym, and music is sure fire way to get folks pumped up. The musical conductor must be talented, knowledgeable about the popular songs, and understand audience engagement. Thus, the DJ is often selected from a pool of wannabees and paid good bucks. Well, to put it lightly I was alarmed to hear the word nigga being broadcast by way of musical selection across the arena. I immediately turned to the colleague to confirm that I heard what I heard. Yes, no need for hearing aids just yet. I was in my right (and so disappointed) mind. I’m not sure if the lyrics had profanity included as well because I purposely then tried to ignore the rest of the track. Regardless of the elderly or children in attendance, who I don’t believe these artists intended their music for, everyone was subjected to this crass form of music as if we all approved or expected this form of entertainment at the game. Shame!
The second incident involved college basketball players getting hyped for the opportunity to go out on the court to shoot some J’s and play some tough defense. These amped up ballers were hungry to get a “W”! So, their uniform chorus of “F* These N*” as a warmup motivational chant took my breath away and brought tears to my eyes. Let me be clearer: A diverse racial group of students who represent a prestigious university shouted confidently and for all within listening distance to hear that they were willing to beat the crap out of their opponents for a victory. However, in their “innocence” they chose words that spoke to sexual intercourse and the ultimate insult to Black people. And no one blinked.
Without providing a lecture on the historical and current usage of the n* word and its various meanings for Black people, our collective community has not accepted this word as a term of endearment for White people to express their connection to our culture. And many of us still are offended and bewildered why Black youth would want to adopt this hateful speech. I believe an entertainment industry driven by profit and greed has made a dent in this old taboo or cultural “no-no” as they continue to pump out music filled with “nigga this and nigga that” language. These moguls want the hearts and minds of youth regardless of the dangers to their mental health and the denigration of a population. They are cutting it real close, like right on the edge of that fine line of delight and disaster. Perhaps there is so much fear and stress that people will try anything to create community under a new label. Even it means invoking a harrowing time in history to rewrite or reimagine the meaning of a word to gain acceptance and a short-term financial windfall. In summary, some artists will do whatever it takes including “crossing the picket line” and causing harm to the Black community by not seeing “the big picture.”
And to my eager to be seen and heard Black community, let’s just admit that many of us are trying too hard. Please stop. That is, the drug of assimilation has caused great harm and disassociation with reality. Crafting lyrics that invite others to dehumanize us is not worth the false gold and fake friends. I am not sure if there will ever be a time when the n* word and in its various forms will erase the memories of anguish, sorrow, and violence that is associated with its usage. It is believed that there are more than a million words in the English language and only a fraction is in use. We have the brain capacity to make better choices. Or consider other languages to convey your solidarity.) My brothers and sisters, please choose wisely to express your sentiments.
God, what has happened to our society? The expletives have become common place in our culture. The usage of the n* word is becoming more popular by young people. Adults have lost the courage to correct and often just shake their head remarking that “it’s just the way it is now” or “it’s how they speak to one another.” Are we too exhausted or scared to intervene? Have we given up and allowed what we know is improper and disrespectful to occur on our college campuses? How do they students learn if we don’t help them? If we don’t identify the line that they should never cross? Turning our backs and ignoring this attack on courtesy and respect speaks to our capacity to lead and guide. Well, I refuse to act like I don’t hear the ugliness. I might get cursed at or receive the side eye one day, but I choose to say something when I hear something. Not on my watch.
There are many who are highly concerned about the NCAA transfer portal and the money athletes gain or squander under the NIL policy. Perhaps we should shift our focus first and go back to the basics and double down on the teaching of civility and professionalism. As the scriptures state in Mark 8:36-37 “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” With the direction we are headed, I believe the adage that sports reflect society might be true as ever. With the increased usage of bad language and the n* word (and its derivatives) in casual conversations, nothing is off the table. It is interesting to note that the derogatory words used to describe Irish, Italians, Jews, and Latinos have not become commonplace in conversation or entertainment. And they never will. Trust me.
I am hopeful that there are still brave sport administrators who will act and clean up this worsening behavior. Instruct our young people to be better. Be creative. Find music that won’t offend people. Increase your vocabulary. Expect more from students who are paid to proudly wear the school colors and represent its ideals. Lastly, I suggest an old saying that still rings true today and which might be able to help reverse this unnerving trend. If you wouldn’t say it in front of your mother, you know it need not be said. We can be better, good people. Let’s try before it’s too late. I don’t need more unjustified gray hair.
“Never Too Far” contains perspectives and insights from an inquisitive and engaged Orange County transplant from Philly. Deborah Stroman is an entrepreneur and UNC leadership professor who has seen too much and not enough, and thus continues to question and explore the thoughts and actions of humankind.
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