"While it's good that society's awareness of gaslighting has increased, it has become too often misconstrued as little more than lying or contradicting others," says Dr. Deborah Vinall, Psy.D., LMFT, the Chief Psychological Consultant with Recovered.org. "Accusations of 'gaslighting' are now frequently used to shut down dialogue and avoid confrontation."
"Gaslighting is a pattern of manipulation and control using bold lies designed to make you doubt your own senses, intuition and memory," she clarifies. "It is an insidious form of psychological abuse."
"Having a high-level gaslighter in your life means a loss of control," she shares. "It means being constantly unsure of what is true."
Related: 4 Common Habits of High-Level Gaslighters, According to Psychologists
What Is a High-Level Gaslighter?
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The term isn't clinical, but, in other words, a high-level gaslighter is a skilled gaslighter. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation and control. High-level gaslighters are extra subtle in how they conduct their business.
"They craft an alternate reality and insist upon it until you are uncertain what is true or are convinced of their lies," she explains.
"Life with such gaslighters erodes self-confidence and self-esteem. It leads to chronic stress and anxiety," the psychologist adds. "The behaviors associated with chronic gaslighting also leave you with a shrunken circle of support."
If you're dealing with a high-level gaslighter, you may wake up one day and realize your inner circle is much smaller. You might even barely swap memes with the person you once met for coffee daily.
The problem is that gaslighters might make it sound like they are looking out for you or simply want to spend more time with you, which can be flattering. But that's not their real endgame.
Related: 8 Phrases High-Level Gaslighters Often Use, According to Psychologists
2. Victim or hero narrative (often alternating between both)
"Gaslighters are motivated by buried insecurity," Dr. Vinall reveals. "Instead of building relationships through confidence and authenticity, they manipulate others into staying near them by trying to extract pity or using grandiosity to impress. They frequently alternate between both approaches."
"As you try to make sense of each story, the next lie arrives, leaving you insufficient time to get to the bottom of anything," she explains. "Things may feel 'off,' but you seldom can prove why. Ultimately, at least some of the lies stick."
4. Making harmful comparisons
"Gaslighters intentionally attack your self-esteem so you will become more dependent on them and less sure about leaving," Dr. Vinall says. "One of the ways they do this is by negatively comparing you to others. The intended effect is to make you feel lucky that they are willing to be with you."
There's a reason this one feels so horrid: Dr. Vinall shares that undermining your accomplishments has two aims.
Related: 5 Unexpected Signs *You* Might Be a Narcissist, Psychologists Warn
6. Putting you down in front of others
"This also serves the goal of eroding your support system, while simultaneously harming your self-confidence," Dr. Vinall notes. "Gaslighters may even imagine such behavior makes them look smart."
High-level gaslighters never got the memo that no one is perfect.
High-level gaslighters are so good at it that they often succeed.
8. Splitting
"Gaslighters split others by controlling communication between two previously connected parties," Dr. Vinall warns. "Doing so allows them to control narratives and push their alternative reality."
"With gaslighters, everything comes at a cost," Dr. Vinall says. "There is no reciprocity or generosity because the sole concern is getting what they want."
How To Respond to High-Level Gaslighting
1. Understand the cycle
To break free from gaslighting, Dr. Vinall notes you need to learn their tactics and cycles. This education lets you spot them in action, which is empowering, but the process isn't easy.
Dr. Vinall suggests taking notes in meetings with gaslighting bosses, journaling daily or recording conversations.
3. Set boundaries and make decisions
Dr. Vinall says boundaries protect you physically and emotionally.
She explains that it may not be possible to go no-contact with a high-level gaslighter, such as if you share legal custody of a child. In other cases, it's worth considering.
Up Next:
Related: People Who Gaslight Without Realizing It Often Rely on These 9 Habitual Phrases
Source:
Dr. Deborah Vinall, Psy.D., LMFT, is the Chief Psychological Consultant with Recovered.org and author of Gaslighting: A Step-by-Step Recovery Guide.Hence then, the article about 9 tactics high level gaslighters use that most people miss was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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