"While it may have felt like pressure as a child, it cemented a foundation on how to treat others," she tells Parade. "As we mature and experience different personalities, we learn to adjust. Being polite shouldn’t feel pressured. It should be second nature. If forced, it’ll be obvious and fake."
"Some people confuse politeness with weakness, and that’s when it can affect one’s well-being," she says.
That is probably not what you're going for, and even Randall is team "put your oxygen mask on first."
Part of owning your well-being and returning another person's to sender is understanding how certain habits aren't as well-mannered as we think they are. Instead, they may put our own sanity at risk and do very little to help someone else. Never is that more evident than in one common "polite behavior," which Randall warns against using in 2026. Here's why.
The #1 'Polite Behavior' To Ditch in 2026, According to an Etiquette Expert
Sorry, not sorry, but Randall is begging people to work on saying, "I'm sorry," as a reflex.
She concedes that people use "I'm sorry" for several reasons.
Related: How To Stop Worrying That Someone Is Mad at You, According to a Psychologist
JGI/Jamie Grill/Getty Images
"It can become a game," she notes. "Admittedly, I’ve done it once or twice. The receiver loses interest in the topic of conversation and begins focusing on and counting how many times the word is used."
"It can also diminish the social or professional status of a person who overuses any phrase or word," she warns. "It can give the impression of lacking confidence, being unprepared or unsure of oneself. "
"When it really matters, you may have to amp up your apology to differentiate it from your conversational 'sorry,'" Randall notes.
"Instead of an old-school 'swear jar,' have a 'sorry' jar," she suggests. "When you feel that word 'sorry' slipping out, shut your lips and nod instead."
Related: 12 Things Confident Women Never Apologize For
"Interjecting yourself as their advocate might make you feel like a hero," Randall says. "But when you don't know why the person isn't speaking up... it can backfire or put you in an awkward position."
2. Accepting disrespect so that you don’t rock the boat
It's possible to set boundaries without making a scene (what someone else does is out of your control).
Related: 11 Boundaries Every Woman Should Set by 40, According to Therapists
"In Roman times, commoners used their five fingers to eat," Randall says. "A cultured person ate with only three fingers, so they wouldn’t soil their ring finger or pinkie. Because we have dining utensils, it is no longer necessary. In fact, it looks pretentious."
3 Quick Etiquette Tips To Keep in Mind for Any Life Situation
1. Reply. Respond. RSVP.
Randall is begging people not to leave others hanging.
It's far worse than no, which isn't rude.
She suggests sending a polite response, such as:
“We went another direction.""My focus is elsewhere for the time being."“My schedule doesn’t permit me to add anything else.”Randall has noticed the PJ-bottom trend. Her take?
On that note, she advises that you follow the dress code—so, if a fashion trend doesn't fit your super-corporate company culture, PJ bottoms are best saved for when you're off the clock.
3. Be more mindful of brief responses
Randall gets it. We're busy, and emojis, acronyms and fonts save time. However, she warns that we can cross lines with a person and cause issues that weren't there.
Try to read the room or between the lines of written communication.
Up Next:
Related: 9 Subtle Self-Defeating Habits You Might Not Even Realize You're Doing, a Psychologist Warns
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