Romance scams are a textbook example of emotional manipulation in which the perpetrator exploits a victim's feelings of loneliness, love, or desire for connection to build trust over the long term. Beyond the emotional toll, the financial consequences are significant: The FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) reported $672 million in romance scam losses in 2024, and this number is almost certainly only a fraction of the real total.
As McAfee describes in a recent report on the state of romance scams, this type of fraud is a long con. A romance scam typically starts with a "hook," like a DM, follow request, "wrong number" text, or match on a dating app. Once a scammer gets a response, they'll move into love bombing in an attempt to quickly build intimacy and trust while encouraging you to keep the relationship a secret. They'll take time to build credibility around their persona, which likely includes a job or lifestyle that prevents them from meeting you.
Romance scams work because they don't start with obvious exploitation. Fraudsters build up trust over weeks and months, so it's more likely to feel like a real relationship than a scam until victims are already in too deep.
AI is making romance scams worse
AI removes these barriers. Large language models (LLMs) are capable of maintaining natural conversations without the red flags of a scam, such as poor grammar and misspellings. AI can mirror personality, reflect emotion, and match tone, and it's less likely than a human to come off as pressured or rushed. Chatbots can retain and integrate personal details from earlier conversations, and it requires very little effort to sustain for a very large number of victims.
Research suggests that victims may actually find AI more trustworthy than a human. McAfee found that a third of American adults believe it's possible to develop romantic feelings toward an AI bot. Deepfake audio and video make these AI-powered scams even more credible, as victims can no longer rely on a scammer's refusal to actually speak with them as a red flag.
How to catch a romance scam
To avoid getting wrapped up in an AI-powered romance scam, slow down. Be wary of perfectly crafted responses, which may indicate automation. Try asking unexpected questions or creating friction, which can throw a chatbot off. Remember that relationships shouldn't rely on secrecy or be contingent on financial support. Social media and dating sites are full of fake profiles, so seeing is not always believing.
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