Bullying and cyberbullying both involve cruelty toward another person and are (obviously) harmful. There are clear differences, however, and psychologists say cyberbullying can be extra distressing.“Traditional bullying usually stays confined to specific places/times, but that is not the case with cyberbullying,” says Dr. Vincent Halbrook, PsyD, LCAS, a licensed clinical psychologist and the medical spokesperson for EHG of NC. “It follows kids into their home and continues to affect them even long after the initial incident.”That creates a stress response that’s both lasting and serious. “Having that constant fear or worry that the next text, Instagram message or TikTok post is going to be an aggressive or harmful one (and not having a space to decompress) worsens anxiety and hypervigilance,” says Dr. Ayesha Ludhani, PsyD, a licensed psychologist who specializes in therapy for children, teens and their parents at her practice, Ludhani Psychological Services. She says it can turn into shame and rumination that can even lead to suicidal thoughts or self-harm.The “public” part of social media means more emotional ramifications, too, Dr. Halbrook adds. Since the mean comments can be seen by more people, and over a longer span of time, the child may feel more publicly humiliated. It’s truly a nightmare.And that’s been noted in research. A review inThe Canadian Journal of Psychiatryreported that cyberbullying has “unique qualities that can both magnify the damage caused and make it more difficult to detect.” It said that youth who experience cyberbullying reported higher levels of depression, anxiety, emotional distress, suicidal ideation, suicidal attempts, somatic complaints, poorer physical health, increased delinquency and substance use.Related: Child Psychologists Are Begging Parents and Grandparents to Never Turn a Blind Eye to These 12 Behaviors
Why Can Cyberbullying Be So Harmful?
As a result of those experiences, adults who experienced cyberbullying in their childhood may (or may not) present with the following traits, psychologists say.
2. Caution in relationships
That wariness can extend to IRL relationships, too—even seemingly close, trustworthy ones. After all, they were hurt by a person in their life, not a computer, cellphone or random person. “Cyberbullying often comes from people that the child once trusted or considered friends,” Dr. Halbrook explains. “This becomes a stark reminder that even trusted connections can become hurtful.” In practice, you may notice the person is avoidant or second-guesses positive things people say about them.
4. Strong sensitivity to rejection
Have you ever talked to an adult who seemed to quickly take things personally or feel disliked? They may have been cyberbullied as a child. It’s not just judgment they're worried about, but rejection in any form. “Repeated cyberbullying ultimately tunes a child’s brain to constantly scan for potential threats,” Dr. Halbrook explains. “Even small shifts in tone or behavior feel amplified, because they’ve learned how minor moments can quickly turn into deep emotional hurt.” Dr. Ludhani adds that these adults might “read between the lines” in emails or texts, brace for criticism or feel devastated hearing any feedback, even if it's constructive.
6. Hesitating to ask for help
Adults who were cyberbullied as kids have a unique understanding of how people can stab them in the back. So, they may be reluctant to trust others and ask for help since it can feel like admitting defeat and inadequacy. “When hurtful moments live online and can’t easily disappear, shame tends to stick around,” Dr. Halbrook explains. “Many grow up feeling that opening up will only bring more judgment, so they avoid seeking help.” Hyperindependence goes hand-in-hand with this one.
7. Struggling to set boundaries
Setting (and upholding) boundaries is hard enough, let alone when cyberbullying makes a person feel like no one will listen. “If you were targeted by a cyberbully as a child, you may have learned that keeping others happy was safer than asserting yourself, translating into an adult who bends over backward to avoid conflict or struggles to say no,” Dr. Ludhani says.Related: 35 Phrases To Set Boundaries Firmly and Fairly, According to Mental Health Pros
How To Educate Your Children on Cyberbullying
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If your child is being cyberbullied, you may be tempted to go to the bully’s parents or the bully themselves—but Dr. Halbrook warns against that. “That conversation rarely goes well and may complicate formal intervention,” he says. Instead, Dr. Halbrook shares the two-step recommendation he finds more effective. “Your first duty as a parent is to collect evidence and report to the authorities,” he states. “Screenshot all proofs before anything gets deleted. Next, report to the school immediately.”Besides those important logistical steps, attend to your child’s emotions. Dr. Ludhani encourages listening calmly and taking them seriously. “A lot of times, children avoid speaking up because they worry their devices are going to get taken away or they’ll be told to ‘just ignore it,’” she says. “Validate their experiences by saying something like, ‘That sounds really upsetting. I’m glad you told me.'"Mental health support may be needed, so monitoring for that is another crucial step. More specifically, Dr. Ludhani says to look out for significant or ongoing distress. If and when you see that, involve a mental health professional. They can help your child rebuild self-confidence, challenge harmful beliefs and learn coping tools.For more resources on bullying and cyberbullying, see StopBullying.gov and the resources compiled by the National Children's Alliance.Up Next:
Related: 9 Fights With Your Teen That Are Red Flags, Child Psychologists Warn
Sources:
Dr. Vincent Halbrook, PsyD, LCAS, is a licensed clinical psychologist and the medical spokesperson for EHG of NC.Dr. Ayesha Ludhani, PsyD, is a licensed psychologist who specializes in therapy for children, teens and their parents at her practice, Ludhani Psychological Services.Cyberbullying in Children and Youth: Implications for Health and Clinical Practice, The Canadian Journal of PsychiatryHence then, the article about people who were cyberbullied as kids often develop these 7 traits as adults psychologists say was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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