Carefully measured chicken and rice, obsessive tracking of macros, the guilt when a workout is missed: On social media, these behaviors are framed in the language of performance and strength. The same rituals that would be clear indications of disordered behavior for women are redefined as “discipline” and “optimization” for men. How many men suffer in silence because eating disorders are coded as a women's issue? How many cases go unrecognized when they're framed as "clean eating" or "serious training"? When eating disorders and body dysmorphia get rebranded as "fitness goals," a lot of men are left struggling in plain sight.
Unfortunately, much of fitness culture allows men to engage in disordered behaviors by wrapping them in performance language. "Bulking" and "shredding" cycles can mask seriously problematic eating patterns. Without giving certain men in my life an armchair diagnosis, I can confidently say I’ve seen the mental fallout when someone’s extreme caloric restriction becomes "cutting" or compulsive exercise becomes "staying on track."
We all scroll through feeds of chemically enhanced physiques presented as natural and achievable. This naturally breeds more self-scrutiny, more comparison, more perceived inadequacy. Matthew Singer, a yoga teacher, says most “fitspo” (fitness inspiration) “is as helpful for fitness as previous winning lottery numbers are for winning millions. Fitspo cannot take into account genetics, job and family circumstances, health history, or any of the other countless factors that influence health outcomes." Our bodies are treated like projects always in need of correction, devoid of much-needed context.
Unattainable beauty standards stay unattainable
Botox injections in men may get called “Brotox," but a cheeky nickname shouldn't shroud the fact that unattainable beauty standards are leading men to take more extreme measures. Dr. Claudia Kim of New Look New Life Cosmetic Surgery says she's seen a rise in men turning to beauty treatments: jawline contouring, under-eye correction, hair restoration, skin rejuvenation. “These approaches offer noticeable yet discreet results with little downtime,” says Kim, fitting neatly into lives that were never supposed to include these concerns.
What does all this mean for the average person with an average budget? The treatments Kim describes—jawline contouring, hair restoration, aesthetic procedures—aren't cheap. Nor are supplements, meal prep services, personal trainers, specialized equipment, and so on. Beauty standards increasingly require you to spend more money, meaning your appearance is yet another health arena where class determines outcomes. And if they can’t afford to look the way they feel pressured to look, men are uniquely left behind to suffer in silence.
The bottom line
There’s a big difference between healthy self-care and the sense that your body is never good enough. Meticulously tracking every calorie, every rep, every perceived flaw—why should one woman’s obvious eating disorder be another man’s enviable achievement?
Women have been battling body image issues and unattainable beauty standards since birth, but a lot of men were never taught how to fight this particular war. To me, the takeaway is that we all need to be on the same side. To fight this war, we need a more honest conversation about what we're doing to men's relationships with their bodies. Until we acknowledge that, all this talk of "cutting" and "discipline" will allow dangerous behaviors to keep hiding in plain sight.
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