This is a follow-up to the column published Jan. 18, 2026; that piece was about making the decision whether to age in place or move to an assisted living residence. In it, I quoted Sara Zeff Geber, who said, rather than aging in place, the real issue is to “age in the right place.”
After that, I received the following question: How do I find the right place for my loved one who wants to live in an assisted living residence?
Let’s start with some general information.
Assisted living is for older adults who want to live independently and may need some help with activities of daily living. These might include bathing/showering, dressing, toileting and medication management.
Some may request just one or more services or none at all. Its goal is for residents to be as self-sufficient as possible and to live in a residential rather than an institutional setting. Residents typically have their own apartment, and in some cases, a shared space with amenities such as entertainment, fitness classes, yoga, movies, crafts and more. Residents of assisted living manage their own time.
Consider the following to create an initial list of options for your loved one.
Determine the needs: Think about the individual’s healthcare needs and how they may change over time. You might consult with your loved one’s physician, physical therapist, other healthcare providers, as well as the older adult.
Consider personal preferences: What are the loved one’s preferences for living arrangements, which might include the size of the residence, its location and particular amenities.
Determine the budget: The median yearly cost for overall assisted living in California is roughly $67,000 a year, which depends on the type, level of care and location. A Harvard housing report noted that just 13 percent of those age 75 and older who live alone can afford an assisted living facility in their area. This is a serious national problem.
Once you have checked out your short list, here are some further considerations.
Check out the neighborhood: Is it safe, quiet and pleasant? Are the grounds well-maintained and attractive? Is there convenient parking, including handicapped spaces?
Conduct a tour: Do you receive a warm welcome? Do you have a sense that you were being pressured?When walking around the facility, do you like the overall feeling? Consider what you hear or smell. Talk to the residents. Do they seem happy, and do you sense they socialize with each other? Make a surprise visit and take in what you see and feel.
Consider space: How many common spaces are there where residents can get together with one another? Are there secure outdoor spaces? Are halls well-lit with handrails and easy to navigate? Can they accommodate wheelchairs and walkers?
Check out food and dining: Sample the food. How many meals are provided a day, and are snacks available? Can family members and guests join the residents for meals? Are the meals nutritious, delicious, varied and are special meals being prepared?
Then there are the amenities: Look at the calendar of events. These might include regular cultural, educational and recreational programs as well as transportation. Is there an activity director, and are faith services offered? What on-site services are available, such as banking, a beauty salon or barbershop? Look for a fitness center and scheduled exercise and wellness classes. Are there organized groups for social outings?
Interact with staff: Get a sense of how staff interact with residents. Determine the staff-to-resident ratio. What is the staff turnover rate?
Discuss fees: What is the monthly or yearly fee, and are all services included? Review the billing and payment policies. Is the community nonprofit or for-profit, and is its funding stable? Review the contract with the administrator and ask under what circumstances costs might increase.
Another option is the Eden Alternative, founded over 20 years ago by geriatrician Dr. William Thomas. It was developed as an alternative to large multi-unit assisted living facilities and skilled nursing homes. One of the goals is to create a homelike setting, such as hanging plants, pets and children visiting with residents, with a focus on autonomy and flexibility. Residents typically can wake and eat on their own schedule. The layout often consists of a central living/dining/activities area surrounded by 10 or 12 private bedrooms. About 15 percent are licensed as assisted living facilities. See the map of Eden members.
With an aging population, this topic is becoming increasingly popular. Hope this information helps.
Stay well, everyone, and spread the gift of kindness.
Helen Dennis is a nationally recognized leader on issues of aging and the new retirement with academic, corporate and nonprofit experience. Contact Helen with your questions and comments at Helendenn@gmail.com. Visit Helen at HelenMdennis.com and follow her on facebook.com/SuccessfulAgingCommunity
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