In our new Money Secrets series, we are asking people to confess their furtive money-related secret which they are hiding from loved ones or that people do not know the full extent about.
Today, we speak to Sophie, 52, who gets a thrill out of telling her sensible-with-money husband that the clothes she buys are from a charity shop, which somehow always seems to miraculously have beautiful clothes in her size.
We’re lucky that money isn’t an issue in our household and we have no need to scrimp or save. We live in a beautiful, big detached house, have nice cars and lovely holidays and our two children go to private school.
My husband is a chief finance officer for big corporate companies and I have a successful marketing business of my own so I have my own money too.
However, my husband came from a single-parent family and had a poor working-class background, so for him, although the money is there now, he doesn’t know when the jobs will stop and he keenly remembers what it is like to have nothing. Therefore, he just doesn’t like spending, however much he has got and is frugal with his money.
So I know that things I like spending my money on, he wouldn’t deem as important – such as clothes.
As a result, what I do is buy new clothes and cut the tags off. I sometimes even cut the brand labels out and pretend that it is something I found for a bargain price in a charity shop.
My husband thinks I have found this amazing charity shop which sells such beautiful dresses and wonderful stuff at rock bottom prices.
He says I always look good in the “charity shop” clothes and is proud of me for finding such bargains. I am surprised he doesn’t question how they always seem to have so many things in my size.
He even brags to his friends about how great his wife is at hunting out bargains in charity shops. I like nice things and while I don’t go over-the-top with buying clothes, I like to buy quality things.
My husband isn’t controlling in any way and we have a happy and healthy marriage and I know he would never stop me from spending or begrudge me of it.
It’s just that knowing his relationship with money and how frugal he is, it would take the pleasure out of my buying.
This is because I know he wouldn’t understand, and would panic about how much I was spending – even though there’s no need.
I think he wouldn’t understand why I need a new dress or a new skirt when I already have dresses and skirts. I am certainly not a shopaholic, but to him, normal shopping would seem excessive as he just buys what he needs and he rarely spends money on himself.
I get more of a thrill from telling him that the nice new wool coat I’ve just got cost me a fiver from a charity shop – when in reality it cost me £200. He praises me as he thinks I’m really thrifty and that’s a quality he admires.
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I get away with it as I have some separate money as well as our combined money. Even though I know it wouldn’t be an issue if he knew the truth, it is my little secret. I have told my close friends what I do and they all think it is funny and make sure they keep quiet about it.
I just dread that one day my husband might ask me to come with me to this wonderful charity shop. Or that one of his friends might ask me to introduce their wife to this fictitious charity shop which is such a goldmine of brilliant clothes.
Do you have a Money Secret that loved ones don’t know about? Do you have a secret debt or a hidden stash of money that no one knows about? Or maybe you have a mysterious spending habit or a clandestine side hustle.Share your Money Secret by emailing: Aasma.day@theipaper.com. Identities will be protected.
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