When life gets overwhelming, everyone develops ways to manage difficult feelings and stressful situations. These strategies often help us regain a sense of control, even if we aren’t fully aware of them."Simply put, coping mechanisms are the ways that any person handles stress, big emotions or challenging life transitions/situations," Dr. Narayan explains. "We all have them. They are the strategies we use, consciously or unconsciously, to help feel safe or in control when something is too overwhelming to manage."
11 Coping Mechanisms That Parents and Grandparents Shouldn't Ignore, According to Child Psychologists
"Kids develop all kinds of ways to protect themselves from overwhelming emotions and some of these coping mechanisms can look harmless at first," Dr. Narayan points out. "But when any behavior becomes a child’s main way of coping, it is a sign that a child is struggling internally and needs more support."Dr. Fein agrees. "These strategies can offer temporary relief, but they don’t build long-term resilience and can become harmful over time," she adds. "Below are common patterns parents and grandparents should be aware of and never ignore."Related: Child Psychologists Are Begging Parents and Grandparents to Never Turn a Blind Eye to These 12 Behaviors
2. 'Numbing out' with devices
Many kids turn to screens as a quick escape, but when device use becomes a way to avoid difficult feelings, it can signal a deeper emotional struggle."When a child retreats to screen time to avoid feeling bored, sad or anxious, it may be a sign they’re using technology to disconnect from emotions," reveals Dr. Narayan. "Occasional screen time is normal, but constant scrolling, zoning out or gaming for hours can become a form of emotional escape, instead of a child learning how to work through their emotions."Related: This Is the #1 Screen Time Mistake for Toddlers, Parenting Expert Warns
4. Shutting down or going emotionally blank
Sometimes children respond to being emotionally overwhelmed by withdrawing inward, making it difficult for adults to recognize just how distressed they actually are."Some kids cope by going quiet or expressionless when upset," Dr. Narayan tells Parade. "They may appear calm, but inside they’re overwhelmed and have learned that it’s safer to disconnect from their feelings rather than express them. A child who learns to shut down emotionally as a coping mechanism might struggle with communication or relationships later in life if it's not pointed out."
6. Laughing or refusing to make eye contact
If you notice that your child or grandchild starts acting strangely or demonstrating certain behaviors when you are talking to them, one expert says this is another coping method that shouldn't be ignored."When children are laughing, refusing to make eye contact, running away from you, covering their ears or getting hostile and angry when you are trying to talk to them about their misbehavior, these things can be a coping mechanism," Lerner reveals. "These evasive responses often signal that the child is flooded with shame—a very overwhelming and uncomfortable emotion that is hard to sit with and tolerate (for kids and adults)."And while these management methods might seem like your child is just being rude, it's their way of dealing with things to help themselves feel safe."These are all coping mechanisms that provide protection and relief from a flood of difficult emotions—to stop you from saying things that make them uncomfortable," she shares. "They are things parents should not ignore as it's a missed opportunity to help your child cope with difficult feelings and experiences, and to learn that they are still a good person even when they make a poor choice."
8. Showing unhealthy eating patterns
"Food can become a coping tool that parents and grandparents might not instantly notice," Dr. Fein tells Parade. "Children might do this either by overeating to self-soothe, or they may restrict food to feel a sense of control."If this coping mechanism is ignored, it can lead to eating disorders down the road.
10. Overly compliant behavior
While it’s easy to overlook a child who seems well-behaved, excessive compliance can sometimes be a subtle signal that they’re coping with internal stress or emotional discomfort."Parents and grandparents often only pay attention to the child who seems to be coping badly, for example, having emotional outbursts and behavioral issues," Dr. Narayan shares. "However, loved ones should always keep an eye out for children who are seen as 'good' and 'well-behaved,' as well."Why is that? She tells Parade that it can be a sign that they are dealing with something much deeper."People-pleasing could be a sign of a child trying to cope with fear of rejection or conflict," she notes.
"Coping mechanisms are like emotional signals that tell us how a child is managing their inner world," Dr. Narayan explains. "When adults overlook or dismiss those signals, children can feel unseen or unsupported."And, these management methods can "harden into long-term patterns that can come about in their life as an adult," the longer they continue these mechanisms, she shares."For example, a child who learns to shut down emotionally might struggle with communication or relationships later in life, or a child who relied on people-pleasing may struggle with boundaries later in life," she continues.Though it's not all bad. Dr. Fein explains that these signs can be blessings if you don't ignore them."The good news is that although unhealthy coping skills can be concerning, they still communicate important information," she tells Parade. "These behaviors often serve as signals that a child is experiencing something bigger than they can manage alone. When adults overlook these signs, children may feel misunderstood or unsupported, which canraise their stress levels and intensify the very behaviors that worry caregivers in the first place. However, unhealthy coping skills also represent missed teaching moments. Ignoring them prevents children from learning emotional literacy and resilience."Related: 7 Things a Trauma-Informed Psychologist Is Begging Parents and Grandparents To Stop Doing ASAP
How To Help Kids Who Have Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
1. Try to connect
"Children thrive when they feel safe and connected to supportive loved ones," Dr. Narayan tells Parade. "One of the best ways to connect with a child is to spend time with them doing something they love."How can you implement this?"Put away distractions for 15-30 minutes and be present," she explains. "Let them take the lead in choosing an activity to enjoy together."Related: Parents and Grandparents Who Raise Independent Kids Often Do These 6 Things, According to a Child Psychologist
3. Create emotional safety
One of the most healing things a parent or grandparent can do is to be a child’s emotional "safe place." "Being a 'safe place' means your child knows that all feelings are welcome—sadness, anger, fear, frustration—and that expressing those feelings won’t lead to shame, scolding or punishment," Dr. Narayan points out. "When a child believes they’ll be met with understanding instead of criticism, they learn that emotions aren’t dangerous. They then start to trust that it’s okay to talk about what’s hard instead of hiding it. Over time, that safety helps them replace unhealthy coping habits, like shutting down or acting out, with healthier ones, like talking or seeking connection."
5. Seek support
"Caregivers should always remember that they don’t have to do this alone," Dr. Fein tells Parade. "If they feel in over their head when it comes to navigating unhealthy coping skills, they should seek out the professional help of a qualified mental health provider."Dr. Narayan seconds that."If a child’s coping behaviors are intense, prolonged or interfere with daily life, connecting with a child therapist can help both you and your child develop healthier patterns," she adds.Up Next:
Related: 7 Things 'Magic-Making' Grandparents Do Differently, According to Child Psychologists
Sources:
Dr. Jasmine Narayan, PsyD, is a child psychologist.Dr. Rachel Fein is a child psychologist and Board-Certified Behavior Analyst.Claire Lerner, LCSW-C, is a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist and child development specialist.Hence then, the article about child psychologists are begging parents and grandparents to never turn a blind eye to these 11 coping mechanisms was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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