Whether you've been gaslit in the past or are currently experiencing a form of gaslighting by a friend, family member, significant other or coworker, you might be wondering how to deal with a gaslighter (specifically, figuring out what gaslighters hate so that you can get under their skin). "Gaslighting is about power and control and gaslighters attempt to manipulate and distort communication to make you doubt yourself," says Dr. Lainey Butler, PsyD, a licensed psychologist at ChangeWell Psych in Charlotte, NC. "Deep down, they are afraid to reveal their own imperfections, so they work to maintain a false narrative that they are always right and in control."That said, if you do things that threaten a gaslighter's sense of security—whether that's becoming more confident or talking to others outside of them—then they'll be uncomfortable and it'll probably even benefit you in the long run as you loosen their grip on your life.Ahead, we spoke with psychologists about nine things gaslighters truly dislike, which you may want to keep in your back pocket for your own sake. If you haven't been able to successfully do these things on your own before, this list might help you. But if you still feel rocky or can't do these things yet, it's always a good idea to reach out to a mental health provider, so they can help you live a healthier and happier life. Related: 4 Common Habits of High-Level Gaslighters, According to Psychologists
What Is a 'Gaslighter'?
Gaslighters thrive on denial and distortion, according to Dr. Sakshi Kapur, a psychologist at Parkview Health in Fort Wayne, IN. "When you bring receipts (texts, emails, witnesses), they may lash out or get defensive, accuse you of being “obsessed” or “paranoid,” or deflect or change the subject," she explains. Dr. Mohsen adds that when there’s concrete proof, like written communication (again, like texts, emails, etc.) or outside witnesses, they can’t easily twist the narrative, which threatens their control.
2. Receiving boundaries
According to Dr. Kapur, gaslighters crave attention and control. "Going no-contact, being emotionally unresponsive or detaching can drive them wild because they can no longer pull your strings," she says.Even though the Grey Rock Method is used a lot with narcissists, it looks like you could get some use out of it with a gaslighter too.
4. Learning you have an outside support system
Staying calm in an emotionally charged situation is one of the things gaslighters hate most of all. "Gaslighters often want an emotional reaction to something that they can use against you," Dr. Waldron shares. "Responding calmly and factually leaves them with less to twist or exploit." Related: 75 Quotes About Gaslighting To Help You Identify and Break Away From This Toxic Behavior by Manipulators
6. Seeing that you have confidence
Dr. Butler says that gaslighters often perceive an inherent hierarchy in which they are at the top and you are at the bottom. "If you agree to disagree, this not only challenges the gaslighter's narrative but also gives them fewer avenues to manipulate," she explains.
8. Noticing that you trust your intuition
9. Seeing that you're growing
Gaslighters hate to see any sign that you’re healing, getting stronger or seeing through them because this threatens their power, according to Dr. Kapur. Whether you're actively in therapy or working on your own self-growth and discovery, a gaslighter will dislike it when they notice you're becoming a stronger, smarter and healthier person. Related: 10 Manipulative Tactics Straight Out of a Gaslighter’s Playbook, According to Psychologists
Why Do These Tactics Work?
Related: Psychologists Reveal the #1 Trick Gaslighters Use To Keep You Hooked
Sources:
Dr. Lainey Butler, PsyD, is a licensed psychologist at ChangeWell Psych in Charlotte, NC.Dr. Sakshi Kapur is a psychologist at Parkview Health in Fort Wayne, IN. Dr. Shereen A. Mohsen is a clinical psychologist in San Jose, CA. Dr. Arlene Waldron, Psy.D, LMFT, is the Clinical Director for Newport Healthcare's children's and adolescent programs in Orange County, CA.Hence then, the article about gaslighters hate when you do these 9 things so do them anyway was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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