I recently made a huge mistake. I started my career at my company in my early twenties and, over the last six years, worked my way up to senior role. I enjoyed going to work, valued what I was doing, worked alongside my best friends, respected my manager, and earned a good salary. It felt like a family.
But at around the six-year mark I started to get itchy feet. I saw some friends jumping to other companies and lamenting that they hadn’t done it sooner – it gave me major grass-is-greener syndrome. Finally, I took the leap to a much bigger company where I hoped to learn a lot.
Flashforward to a few months later, and I hated it. My workload was overwhelming, I didn’t connect with the team, I was being micro-managed and the training was flimsy – it honestly felt like everyone was too burned out to even show me the ropes.
My old boss caught word from a mutual friend that I was unhappy and came to me, offering to match my pay in order to get me back. I was ecstatic because it was a significant raise.
The only problem is I’m now back at my previous company and things are really, really awkward. They had a hard time trying to fill my role, and a lot of my colleagues were inundated covering my work. Some of them will barely talk to me. At the pub, a few made comments about how “ditching” their jobs is the only way to get a pay rise. I hate that they think I betrayed them.
What should I do?
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Amelia Sordell is the author of The Personal Branding Playbook: Turn Your Personality Into Your Competitive Advantage. She is a LinkedIn Top Voice and one of the top personal branding strategists globally. Amelia has worked with leaders from FTSE250, Fortune100 and VC-backed start-ups to build personal brands that drive tangible business results. Amelia has built a 7-figure personal branding business, Klowt, off the back of the strategies and tactics taught in her book. Here’s her advice:
This is a tricky spot to be in, so I understand how you might be feeling awkward. You started your career at this company and forged deep connections with your colleagues, so perhaps you’re experiencing some guilt stemming from a fear that you’ve inconvenienced them, let down the employer that gave you your first work opportunity, or been disloyal.
When we’ve been in the same job for a long time – seeing the same colleagues day-in day-out, under the same boss, getting incremental pay rises – it’s normal to get grass-is-greener syndrome. We might discover that in hindsight it’s not, as you have done, but it’s imperative to have this curiosity. Otherwise how else do we move forward and try new things?
At the end of the day, you cannot avoid making positive moves in your life just because it might upset others or disrupt their working day.
Boomerang employees are on the rise
Perhaps it’s key to remind yourself that your situation is becoming increasingly common. Decades ago, it may have been unheard of for an employee to return to a former place of work, but following the pandemic – when employee priorities shifted with a greater focus on health concerns, a widespread desire for better wages and benefits, a need for remote work flexibility, and a reassessment of work-life balance – workers quit in droves.
But straight after “The Great Resignation” came the “The Great Regret”, where many employees returned to their old work places. In fact, research from ADP from March this year shows that 35 per cent of all new hires are now returning employees – up from 31 per cent a year ago. So you’re not alone and you’ve done nothing wrong.
Remember that work is not ‘family’ – you don’t owe them anything
I always say that if your company says it’s a family, it’s a red flag. They’re not your family – your relationship is professional and strictly business. It is conditional on you doing what you’ve been paid to do in your job description, otherwise you will be fired.
You owe your company nothing, and that’s not to say you shouldn’t stick around and try to get as much out of your role as humanly possible, but I’m also not advocating chasing every shiny new role that comes about, because there’s pros and cons to that too.
Your company is as loyal to you as you are good to them, and vice versa. So if they are no longer fulfilling the things that you want from your life, you have no moral obligation to stay.
Deal with your colleagues with patience and empathy – they will come around
Although your colleagues might be currently feigning that they have a unique lifelong loyalty to your company, anyone in your position – who is offered the opportunity to learn more and earn more – would make the same leap in a heartbeat.
It seems there is a bit of jealousy going on. You’ve left, probably gotten a significant pay rise, and then come back; maybe your ability to enforce change in your life has highlighted their inadequacy to make changes in their own.
Usually when you take a gamble you lose something, but you didn’t – you managed to negotiate a higher salary. But you have to remember, it’s also win-win for your company as they get to have you back and don’t have to train someone new. You’ve done them a favour, too.
I would sit down and speak to your colleagues outside of work, for a coffee, drink, whatever it might be. Be vulnerable, and don’t make it about them or blame them for not being welcoming. You can say something like: “Since I’ve been back, I’ve just felt like I haven’t really reintegrated properly”. or “I feel awkward and I don’t know how to change it. Please help me”.
It’s very unlikely that after having those individual conversations, any of the people that you work with are going to still meet you with resistance. But you will have to make the first move. I always say, if you want to make something happen and you want a positive outcome, you have to be the one to do it. Control what you can control.
Really interrogate what led to you wanting to leave
Whether or not you make it right with your colleagues, I think you need to ask yourself why you left in the first place. Did you go back to that organisation because you genuinely loved it, or was it because it was a safe bet? What made you want to look for a new role? Was it lack of money or fulfillment? Boredom? You need to start asking yourself what actually matters to you.
I actually went through this very recently, and I run my own company – you’re not immune to this when you’re self-employed. I reinterrogated what motivates me, and money wasn’t even in the top three. I derive so much joy from helping people – that’s my number one driver. You want to take actions rooted from your source of motivation, rather than passively falling into things.
Here’s another question to ask yourself: Where do you want to be a year or five years from now? How much do you want to be earning, what priorities do you want to have in your life, what will fulfil you creatively? Now ask yourself what kind of job will more likely get you there.
Be proactive in setting up your future
I used to work as a recruiter and I’m a massive advocate for people taking control of their career and building their personal brand before they need to get a new role, because it means you will constantly have a pipeline of recruiters and hiring managers in your inbox.
Optimise your LinkedIn, connect with the right people, shout about topics you’re interested in or your area of expertise. Grow your following. You’ll never have to beg for an interview. You’ll never be in a pile of CVs that will never get read. You will be “the” option rather than “an” option. That gives you a massive competitive advantage, particularly if you want more money, better flexibility, and work for better organisations.
You might be happy at your old company for now, but maybe when you start asking yourself the right questions, it might be good to prepare yourself for whatever comes next.
Follow Amelia on LinkedIn, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube.
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