What Is a 'Growth Mindset'?
First, let’s start by getting clear on what we mean. “A growth mindset is basically the belief that you can get better at things with effort and practice,” says Dr. Nicole Lipkin, PsyD, MBA, a psychologist and the founder of HeyKiddo. Put another way: “The growth mindset philosophy is founded on the principle that effort is more important than results,” says Dr. Nicole Anders, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist, author, expert witness, speaker and yogini.Related: 7 Things ‘Emotionally Strong’ Grandparents Do Differently, According to Child Psychologists
While it may sound simple, the effects are significant. Dr. Lipkin and Dr. Anders list the following examples:
It helps kids lean into challenges instead of shutting down in the face of them.It takes the fear out of making mistakes.It turns setbacks into learning opportunities. It fosters resilience, courage and persistence in the face of failure.It helps kids derive meaning, not shame, from mistakes.It keeps them motivated and positive even when success seems distant.Are 'Fixed Mindset' Compliments Never Helpful?
To be clear, we don’t mean to demonize fixed mindset compliments here. While growth mindset compliments are probably your better option, fixed mindset compliments have their place.“Saying things like ‘You’re smart’ or ‘You’re a natural’ isn’t the end of the world,” Dr. Lipkin says. “The problem comes when kids only hear that kind of praise.”Dr. Anders agrees. “There are many occasions when telling a child ‘You are kind’ or ‘You are funny’ is exactly what a child needs to hear and will positively reinforce their identity,” she says. “The issue is not the phrase itself, but the frequency and exclusivity of its use.”The concern, the psychologists continue, is that kids may wrap their identity up in that compliment. They may think that since they're “the smart one,” failure is scary and threatening. They may think that one “failure” removes their “smart” descriptor. “So it’s fine to recognize natural strengths now and then, but most of the time it’s healthier to focus on effort, persistence and problem-solving,” Dr. Lipkin continues. “That’s what helps kids grow.”Related: Parents and Grandparents Who Raise Self-Aware Kids Often Do These 6 Things, According to Child Psychologists
2. “You came up with such a creative way to solve that.”
Giving compliments like these can encourage children to think critically, find their own answers and go against the status quo when needed.“This shows kids that strategy and flexibility matter,” Dr. Lipkin says. “It keeps them from thinking success only comes one way.”
4. “You learned something new today.”
It’s helpful for kids (and all of us, really) to remember that knowledge is a process. It requires an ongoing learning journey, and one in which we can celebrate each small “win” along the way. “This keeps the focus on progress,” Dr. Lipkin says. “The win is in the learning, not in being perfect.”
6. “I love how you didn’t quit even when it got boring.”
This one also comes down to grit, something kids can and do have both now and in adulthood. “We all think kids are the ones that have trouble when things get hard, but here’s the truth: Most people just quit when it gets uninteresting,” Dr. Anders says. “Training patience by giving compliments for not quitting when you could is so much more helpful than talent when real life gets chaotic.”
8. “You didn’t know how to do that yesterday, but look at you now.”
Dr. Anders says that compliments like this one provide evidence to a child that they're learning and growing—and doesn’t that feel good?“When you anchor improvement to the calendar, they start to focus on the process rather than on magical outcomes,” she adds. “It gives them a bit of perspective.”Related: Child Psychologists Say These 9 Phrases Are Doing More Harm Than Good—Even if You Mean Well
10. “You kept your cool even when it didn’t go your way.”
Compliments can reference emotional behaviors, not just achievements on the field or at school. They’re also a way to shape your child.“We need to teach children that regulation is a behavior we should all celebrate,” Dr. Anders says. “When we compliment their choices when they are under stress, we provide a reason for them to self-regulate the next time they find themselves in a jam.”
Related: 6 Compliments a Child Psychologist Is Begging Parents and Grandparents To Stop Saying
Sources:
Dr. Nicole Lipkin, PsyD, MBA, an organizational and clinical psychologistDr. Nicole Anders, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist, author, expert witness, speaker and yoginiHence then, the article about psychologists are begging parents and grandparents to give these 10 growth mindset compliments to kids was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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