University can be amazing and can help foster a greater sense of independence – but it can also be stressful, lonely and a bit overwhelming. So, how can you support the young people in your life during this time? Here’s my guide to supporting them in all aspects of their lives.
Financial
It may be the first time that they have been responsible for applying for student loans, or for managing their money. Or they may just be learning. How can you equip them with the basic tools to do this responsibly? A lot of banks and building societies have simple apps or online banking tools, or even explainers for students – so have a look. Encourage them to design a simple budget for incomings and outgoings and look at the timelines for these payments.
Let them know that they can talk to you any time if they are worried about money or if they are getting into debt. You may want to explore if they eligible to apply for any bursaries or grants.
Teach them how to stay healthy (Photo: Getty)Keeping safe
Travel is part of student life – so encourage them to find out about buses, tubes, trains, and trams, or cycling and walking routes in their area. It is also really helpful to chat to them about personal safety. Make sure they have a plan for nights out with friends; how they will all get home safely, that no one will be left alone, and that they understand how alcohol can impact their safety.
Emotional
Establishing certainty
Everyone needs some structure in their life to give them a sense of expectation and continuity. Going to university can feel scary because after school, which followed a strict schedule, you can feel a bit lost. Encourage students to find out their timetable, then suggest they commit to some fun activities that give them a reason to leave their room.
Loneliness can be difficult to navigate (Photo: Getty)
Feeling lonely
Loneliness is something we think only affects older people, but the statistics show that young people are self-reporting feeling lonely at a significant level. Going to a new place and having less structure, or having to manage on your own can feel very lonely. Although students can be more connected now online than ever before, sometimes they miss out on authentic, meaningful face-to-face connection. Let them know that they can tell you they feel lonely, then make sure they know that it is a normal and appropriate feeling. Help them to identify why they feel lonely, and what they can do about it.
Treating themselves
When you are working hard, juggling exams and study, worrying about future prospects and living on a budget, things can feel very heavy. Instead of always focusing on problem-solving, support them to treat themselves occasionally. That might be putting aside a small amount of money each month for a treat, taking a break, or surprising them with something fun.
Building self-esteem
It can be hard going to a new place with new people, with lots of expectations. If they are struggling with their course, or they haven’t found their tribe, this can impact their self-esteem. Encourage them, make sure you are complimenting them and celebrate their successes; it might be with a card or a text or a hug.
It is a time to learn how to be independent (Photo: Igor Suka/Getty)Avoid comparison
One of the pitfalls of living in an online world is the tendency to compare yourself to everyone else. This is especially true when it comes to being popular, successful, and having the “perfect life”. If they talk to you about someone else who is doing really well, make sure they know how well they are doing, encourage them to make positive statements about themselves and encourage them to take time away from social media.
Work
Be interested
Even if it is not a subject you know much about, make sure you show an interest. Keeping good lines of communication open will ensure that if they are struggling, they will tell you. Their course is a big part of their life so be enthusiastic about it.
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Read MoreSupport with challenges
Even though they are adults, they might need some guidance. Perhaps they have a problem with a tutor or deadline and are not confident enough to communicate it. Can you support them with how to manage this? This is an essential life skill.
Future vision
One of the biggest pressures students feel is what they will do after university. It is never too early to chat to them about what their hopes are for the future; so help them come up with ideas about how to get there. This gives them hope and focus.
Social
Family time
Sometimes only our family will do; make sure you plan some family time either at home or go to visit them. It is so important to keep up sibling relationships, to keep up with what their new lives look like, and to make sure they still feel part of home life.
New adventures
University offers some amazing opportunities; make sure you encourage the young person in your life to make the most of them.
Time with themselves
University can be a really busy time; but it is also probably the first opportunity you have to form a true and unfiltered relationship with yourself – encourage your young person to spend time getting to know who they are. This will serve them for the rest of their lives.
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