“A manipulative relationship is one in which one person uses psychological tactics to control, exploit or influence another person in unhealthy ways,” says Dr. Holly Schiff, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist. “This is done for personal gain or power.” She says that in these instances, the manipulator tries to undermine the other person's confidence, autonomy or sense of reality by guilt-tripping, gaslighting, withholding affection, blame-shifting and being passive-aggressive and emotionally coercive.And as it turns out, manipulative relationships aren’t limited to romantic relationships. As Dr. Schiff notes, manipulation can occur in familial, professional and platonic relationships as well.
If You Answer 'Yes' to Any of These 5 Questions, You Could Be in a Manipulative Relationship, Says a Psychologist
“This question highlights emotional coercion,” Dr. Schiff says. “Manipulators will often create guilt as a way to control your behavior or keep you submissive.”
2. Do I second-guess my memory or judgement around this person frequently?
“This will uncover a power imbalance,” Dr. Schiff says. “If you fear speaking up due to anticipated backlash, you are being emotionally suppressed.”
4. Do I feel responsible for their emotions or problems all the time?
5. Do I feel emotionally drained or anxious after interactions with them?
Dr. Schiff says that consistent emotional exhaustion is a red flag, and your emotional state after a conversation can sometimes reveal more than words.Related: 10 Manipulative Tactics Straight Out of a Gaslighter’s Playbook, According to Psychologists
Dr. Schiff also shares this reminder: “If you are being manipulated, please know it is not a reflection of your strength, intelligence or worth. It is difficult to see these dynamics from the inside sometimes, but healing is possible and you deserve relationships that are respectful, reciprocal and emotionally safe.”
Related: 8 Genius Comebacks for Dealing With a Manipulator, According to Psychologists
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