First, let’s validate why kind, helpful, constructive criticism can stir up negative emotions.For starters, it’s input on how we’re seen by others, which can be a sensitive topic in our relationship-driven world. “We have an innate sense that humans have value, but we fear that we personally will be unmasked as someone lacking value, shown to be as flawed as we fear we truly are,” says Dr. Russell Morfitt, PhD, a licensed psychologist who has over 25 years of experience and co-founded Learn to Live. “Even well-intended constructive criticism pushes on that fear.”What happens behind the scenes, he explains, is that when someone receives feedback, they engage in "mind-reading." They may begin to think the worst, and that they're flawed at the core, especially if they already have low self-esteem.On a deeper, more psychological level, schemas can play a role too. “Constructive criticism isn’t equally difficult for everyone, but when it’s hard to handle, the reasons often come down to a person’s core beliefs, also known as schemas,” says Dr. Avigail Lev, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist and the director of the Bay Area CBT Center. Schemas are deeply rooted beliefs and views we have about ourselves and others, and they stem from our childhood experiences.She shares some types, such as a failure schema, abandonment schema, emotional deprivation schema and defectiveness/shame schema. For example, someone with a failure schema may be sensitive to competence criticism, and someone with an emotional deprivation schema may be more bothered by criticism that leaves them feeling unseen or misunderstood.Related: The #1 Sign Someone Needs More Reassurance in Their Relationship, a Psychotherapist Says
9 Ways Successful People Handle Constructive Criticism, Psychologists Reveal
Successful people are less likely to automatically assume what someone said about them is true, and they're aware of their schemas. They consider not only what the other person said about them, but also what they think of themselves.“By seeing both perspectives, they depersonalize feedback and avoid reacting purely from emotion,” Dr. Lev says.
2. They remind themselves that feedback is just an opinion
What your friend says about you matters more than what a stranger says, right? And what someone in your field says about your work means more than words from someone who doesn’t understand your field. These are just some examples of reminders that successful people tend to keep in mind. They consider whether the person is in their “feedback circle” or not.“These are individuals who know them well, care about them and have their best interests at heart,” Dr. Lev says. “Feedback from outside the circle is weighed less heavily. This helps them prioritize what truly matters and avoid being sidetracked by noise.”Related: 9 Signs Someone Is a Negative Influence on You, Psychologists Warn
4. They assess the source’s credibility and intentions
A piece of constructive criticism doesn’t determine who you are or your worth (even though that can be difficult to remember sometimes).To help, Dr. Lev says, successful people look for “specific, observable behaviors in the criticism rather than taking it as an attack on their character.” In other words, maybe your latest project isn’t your best work, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t a hardworking, skilled employee.“This allows them to evaluate the feedback objectively and decide if it points to a changeable behavior worth addressing,” Dr. Lev adds.
6. They extract the useful part and let go of the rest
Is there value in this? Have I heard it from others before?Is it actionable?
“If the answer is yes, they take the useful piece and work with it,” she continues. “If the feedback is vague, overly personal or rooted in the other person’s issues, they discard it. This filtering process keeps them open to growth while protecting their confidence.”
8. They consider other factors
Have you ever gotten constructive criticism and thought, “Well, they didn’t get the whole picture” or something similar? Don’t ignore that. Dr. Morfitt says that successful people consider the role that other factors played, the idea that flaws revealed are narrow and that identified shortcomings can be remediated. “In general, we are able to make the most of the past and prevent ourselves from becoming more pessimistic and negative when we ask these questions,” he adds.
9. They practice gratitude
Related: Rejection Stinks—Here’s How To Deal With It, According to Experts
Sources:
Dr. Russell Morfitt, PhD, a licensed psychologist who has over 25 years of experience, and the co-founder and Chief Clinical Officer of Learn to LiveDr. Avigail Lev, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist, a certified mediator and the director of the Bay Area CBT CenterHence then, the article about 9 ways successful people handle constructive criticism according to psychologists was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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