She’s got a new boyfriend, and I hate myself, but I’m utterly delighted for her. She is somehow the exception to every rule and belief I hold.
The misogynistic Poor Jen narrative she’s been saddled with for two decades since her marriage to Brad Pitt ended in 2005, is offensive, boring and reductive. It’s also patently inaccurate: she’s a hugely successful, rich, beautiful woman, often seen surrounded by a big group of devoted friends. Blessed Jen would be a much more fitting nickname. And yet, the tragic, unlucky in love portrayal has stuck, regardless.
At the time he was the most lusted after movie star on the planet, and it was roundly decreed that Jen was punching, because she was a girl-next-door type rather than a knock ‘em dead raving beauty bombshell. I don’t know where you live, but no-one next door to me looks anything like Jennifer Aniston.
Brangelina, as they were quickly christened, were everywhere, inescapably. Pictures, interviews, and an infamous spread in W magazine where they posed as a 1960s All American couple with five children. Everyone who had ever had their heart broken – so everyone, then? – felt Jen’s pain, as this was clearly a kick in the teeth on top of your worst nightmare. Maybe we trauma bonded with her, too deeply in some cases (hi). Whatever. I became fully invested in this storyline, and I’m confident I am not alone here.
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The hearty diet of rom-coms I was fed at an impressionable age could be to blame for my backwards thinking when it comes to Jen, including the will-they-won’t-they Ross and Rachel saga, which ended tied up in a neat bow. But the joy I experience when she has a new bloke on her arm, and appears to be happy, is as genuine as it is slightly creepy.
“No matter how long I have been in the industry, I will never get used to people thinking they have any sort of right to know about your personal life,” she said.
But also, I want to hear absolutely everything about her new man, “transformational coach” and hypnotherapist Jim Curtis. They’ve been seen together around town, and she brought him on a group holiday to Mallorca with her mates.
That’s a big step isn’t it? That seems serious? Touching wood now, obviously, with all fingers crossed, and my cheeks burning with shame.
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