What the? A masked man on a unicycle has been stealing Pride flags in Longmont. A cursory news search revealed similar thefts in Fort Collins, Pennsylvania, and Oklahoma sans unicycle. Although I don’t recognize Pride Month, these thefts anger me. The thieves aren’t just stealing; they are attempting to silence those who do celebrate.
Meanwhile, CNN reported that consumer brands have scaled back Pride Month promotions in fear of consumer boycotts and reprisal from the Trump administration, given its opposition to diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) efforts. There is nothing wrong with the former — customers can buy or not buy from whom they please — but the latter is unacceptable.
Governments should neither support nor oppose Pride month activities. That means not arbitrarily denying promoters parade permits, which occasionally happens, or hosting government-sponsored celebrations like President Joe Biden did. The purpose of government is to protect the life, liberty, and property of its citizens, not to weigh in on cultural conflicts one way or the other.
Individuals should be able to participate or abstain without pressure or harassment from government or other individuals.
Which sums up my entire feelings about Pride — the nationwide effort to celebrate the LGBTQ+ community every June, that culminated in a parade, 5K and festival in Denver this weekend. I don’t endorse the movement but support the right of others to do so.
But don’t you have any gay friends? No, actually. I have plenty of friends who are attracted to the same sex, but they’re not my “gay friends.” How someone identifies sexually means nothing to me unless I wish to date him.
Besides, I’ve known people who were straight and are now gay, and people who were gay and are now straight, people who are living as the opposite sex and people who have “de-transitioned” back to their biological sex. What category should I put them in? The plus?
Don’t your gay and trans-identifying friends disagree with you about politics and religion? Probably. I have yet to meet anyone who agrees with me on everything. Fortunately, there are 7,852 potential topics of discussion, so it’s easy to steer clear of the controversial. But if we do decide to discuss sensitive issues, we can do it with respect.
Don’t you want people to feel pride in who they are? Not necessarily. Frankly, I find the word “pride” troublesome. Pride can indicate personal satisfaction in an achievement. I take pride in my gardens and gardening ability, for example. Or it can mean confidence in an identity, especially one that feels assailed. Back in college, my girlfriends and I often said “I’m proud to be a woman” to signify defiance against gender stereotyping. Right after September 11, Lee Greenwood’s song about being proud to be an American got more radio play than when it was released in 1984. We were all singing it.
It’s understandable that people who feel unaccepted because of their sexuality use the word “pride” in this way. The trouble with identitarian usage, however, is that only some people are allowed to apply it that way. One can be proud to be a woman but not a man, proud to be black or Hispanic but not white, proud to be gay but not straight.
For this reason, I’ve stopped using the words “proud” or “pride” and adopted more inclusive terms regarding group identity. I do not say I’m proud to be a woman or American. Rather, I say I love being a woman, and I’m grateful to be an American. My nationality and sex are attributes and not a matter of pride since I have not earned them. They contribute to but do not make me the unique person I am. I am a category of one. That goes for everyone else.
Krista L. Kafer is a Sunday Denver Post columnist. Follow her on Twitter: @kristakafer.
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