From there, it entered the English language through middle French, where it took on a meaning of being foolish or silly. For example, in 1657, the poet George Daniel wrote, “Prye not into his secrets; ’tis a nice And foolish Itch ”.
Why am I telling you this? For me, knowing something of the etymological history of the word “nice” helps explain my raging antipathy towards it.
We have all been raised on the doctrines of nice, but far from creating a world of polite and agreeable humans, its pernicious influence fosters submissive compliance, rampant people pleasing, and a seething resentment in the long term.
Before I am accused of being a grade A psychopath, ranting about human empathy being a “weakness,” I better explain what I mean.
You will often experience discomfort while doing the kind and right thing because it will involve a confrontation of some sort. Take parenting, for example. We do not parent small children by being nice to them but by being kind. This will often mean that the child does not get what they want the entire time and will, on occasion, be very angry with the person looking after them. “No, you may not eat that firework.” “No, you cannot drive mummy’s car when you’re seven,” and so forth.
Women are socialised from a very early age to be nice above all things. I can recall being told to “be nice” on many occasions by family members, teachers, and even by my friends. I remember dinner ladies saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. In the playground, we would sing, “sugar and spice and all things nice, that’s what little girls are made of”. All of it, reinforcing the message that little girls should be good, be quiet, be nice.
square KATE LISTER University is worth every penny - it can even make you live longer
Read More
The problem with all this nice conditioning is that we grow up, still holding on to the same messages. Suddenly, the nice girl persona must navigate the world of work and adult relationships, and if all you have to offer is “nice”, you are going to burn out very quickly.
That’s the thing nobody tells you about nice: you won’t ever be rewarded for it. You probably won’t even be noticed for it, but as soon as I started asserting some boundaries, speaking up for myself, and putting forward my ideas at work, things started to improve immediately.
Niceness would have us all politely nodding along and never speaking up in the hope that we are universally liked. But niceness is not authentic; it is pretend. It’s a make-believe game that will keep you from articulating who you really are. Don’t play it. This is not to say that you shouldn’t be kind, respectful, and polite, but you don’t have to be nice. You’re far more interesting than that.
Read More Details
Finally We wish PressBee provided you with enough information of ( I used to be a ‘nice’ girl – but it left me depressed and burnt out )
Also on site :