The addition to our lives of Mona, our 18-month-old black cockapoo, has shown me a lot that previously passed me by. The difference between a whine, a bark and a howl; just how much people can get away with charging for “artisan” dog food. And of course, the fact that other dogs are unavoidable.
It seems that owners, for better or worse, feel unable to leave their dogs at home. It’s no wonder that dog owners are “not always happier and healthier” than non-owners, according to a study published this week, with owners finding the experience “both a joy and a burden”.
“Wesley ends up coming to most places with us (unless he’s with a sitter). He’s come to physio with me, joined meetings in my work’s lobby (he’s not allowed in the main workspace), he collects the dry cleaning, comes clothes shopping, and – only when swaddled in his bed on a booth (he won’t deign to sit on the floor) – spends a lot of time at the pub, with us anxious to see if he kicks off.”
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Read MoreI completely understand feeling this way. My dog regularly makes me feel guilty both accidentally and on purpose. Dogs are, as well as loyal and funny and charming creatures, wickedly talented emotional manipulators. Just last night I was out to dinner and my wife sent me a photo of Mona flopped like a rug, staring at our front door waiting for me to come home. I left soon after, skipping dessert. But we do not take her everywhere. From the day we brought her home we wanted to ensure that she was comfortable on her own. And through incremental training, she can now patiently be alone for up to five hours. This is the suggested limit, based on dogs’ bladder needs.
Mona the dog with her owner Sadhbh (left)Sarah, 61, says that she often leaves her current pack of six dogs alone now, and her first dog was often accompanied.
What’s changed? Much like the rise of gentle parenting with children, it’s in part down to an increased awareness of psychology and mental health. “In the last few years the theory that it’s cruel to leave dogs alone for more than a couple of hours seems to have become accepted as a fact, so people are scared to be accused of neglect,” says Sarah. On the RSPCA website says that eight out of 10 dogs find it hard to cope when left alone, adding that “half won’t show any obvious signs and so it can be easy for owners to miss.”
“I cannot imagine a day where, even if we can start to leave Wesley a little longer, that I wouldn’t be anxiously checking up on him constantly to see if he’s howling and crying.”
Ingrid Haskal, a professional registered clinical animal behaviourist previously told The i Paper that “if you don’t teach a dog to be alone (preferably when they are puppies) they think the world is going to end when you leave.”
Separation anxiety is a real, and serious problem with dogs like Wesley. When left alone, these dogs will experience significant distress, resulting in destructive behaviour of either themselves or the space they are in. Dealing with it once the behaviour is established requires the intervention of professionals who can help the dog manage their distress. But it is not inevitable: you can teach a dog to be able to cope on their own by establishing boundaries from the beginning and getting them used to it (slowly, and at their pace).
Sometimes when Mona looks up at me with her baleful, give-me-your-ham-sandwich eyes, I feel overwhelmed with the desire to do what’s best for her. But then I remember that “what’s best for her” is not always what she wants. And so I ignore it, finish my lunch, and leave her behind to go grocery shopping. As I leave she watches me through the window, curious but not upset, before waiting, curled up on our bed, knowing I will always come home.
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