There is no shortage of horrors within even the meagre selection of “Epstein files” documents published so far by the US Department of Justice.
Handwritten memos show convicted paedophile Jeffrey Epstein complaining that someone had been delivering girls over 18 to him – “too old” – and others apologising that they cannot visit him that evening due to football practice. Time and again material is redacted because it portrays child abuse.
The documents detail an apparent compulsion within the late financier to procure girls, and to abuse them over a period of months or years. But they also reveal a secondary obsession, seemingly almost as intense as the first – to mix with the great and the good, and to painstakingly document those relationships.
Photo after photo shows Epstein posing with celebrities, which has led friends and representatives of several to issue statements saying they had barely known Epstein, met him once, and didn’t know who he was when they posed with him – a get-out clause less readily available to those who knew him better, like Bill Gates, Bill Clinton, or President Donald Trump.
Perhaps the strangest example of Epstein’s fixation on glamour comes in the form of a photograph pinned up inside his wardrobe. On the inner door is a framed front page of The Times, from 1994, showing Princess Diana in her famous little black “revenge dress”, next to a headline stating “Divorce is no bar to throne says Prince”.
The picture is clearly bizarre. To call Epstein a creep is the understatement of the century, but if that was his main motivation in having a photo of Princess Diana here, then why not just use an actual photograph? Why opt for a newspaper front page instead? If there was some in-joke, or some tenuous connection to him, it has so far eluded those reporting on the files.
Whatever its ultimate meaning, the newspaper clipping serves to illustrate Epstein had an abiding fascination with the British Royal Family, a trait he shared with rich men across the world, but particularly in America. This fascination might, at least, help explain Epstein’s friendship with Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor.
The man formerly known as Prince Andrew is, to put it mildly, not known for being good company. Even diplomats have complained about his boorish manner and his arrogance. His constant grasping for cash has been well documented, as has his dubious taste in friends – which goes well beyond Epstein.
The wealthy sex offender had obvious reasons to be “friends” with most of his associates. Many of those in his orbit were the ultra-rich – the class Epstein attached himself to in order to accumulate wealth. They could help him make deals, sign clients, and the like. Beyond that, he befriended leading scientists, apparently motivated by a preoccupation with physics, in particular. Celebrities will at least sparkle and be good company around potential benefactors.
Mountbatten-Windsor is not, at least by the standards of this crowd, rich. He is not known for his sparkling company, nor his scientific mind. But he is – or at least, was – royal. It was pretty much the only card in his limited repertoire, and seems to be what he played here.
Epstein wanted associations with high society, and wanted to be in the orbit of the British royals – his girlfriend and madam Ghislaine Maxwell once even suggested Epstein might have been set up for a date with Princess Diana, though it seems doubtful (to say the least) it ever happened.
Andrew, then, was the consolation prize when Epstein couldn’t get near any of the royals who actually come with a splash of stardust, or at least a viable place in the line of succession.
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A man who was born as the “spare” and has spent his entire adult life shifting ever further away from the centre of the Royal Family served once again as a consolation prize – and as an embarrassment to his relatives and to the institution he was supposed to represent.
One of the more shocking photographs within the Epstein files so far showed Andrew draped across the laps of multiple women, with Maxwell smiling in the background, everyone trying to look like they’re having the most delightful of times – everyone whose face isn’t redacted, at least. The fireplace they pose in front of shows their location: the Sandringham Estate, which serves as the royals’ Christmas retreat.
Andrew may not have been the royal Epstein wanted, but he’s the one he got, and he did at least manage to deliver on access. Now Andrew is no longer a royal, no longer has access, and has never had cash. What’s he got to offer now?
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