Eric Dane opened up about his history with Rebecca Gayheart — from beginning to end — in his new memoir, My Book of Days.
“We were married for 14 years, grew apart, filed for divorce, but never got around to signing the papers,” Dane wrote in his book, posthumously published Tuesday, November 3. “We’ve since stayed close, coparenting, going on vacations as a family, spending time together, and now we talk every day.”
The pair tied the knot in 2004, later welcoming daughters Billie and Georgia before Gayheart filed for divorce in 2018. They went on to live “separate lives,” according to Dane, but their divorce was never made final.
When Dane was diagnosed with ALS in 2024, Gayheart was one of the first people he called. She supported him and their daughters throughout his health battle until his death earlier this year at age 53.
Why Did Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart Separate? Inside Their Relationship
In the book’s acknowledgements, Dane gave Gayheart a final shout-out, writing, “I can’t thank you enough.”
Scroll down for the biggest revelations about Dane and Gayheart’s relationship from his memoir:
Making the Call
Dane remembered calling Gayheart after finding out his official diagnosis. “I say to Rebecca on the phone, ‘It’s what we feared,'” he wrote. “I don’t remember a single word I said after that. I remember only feeling a violent impact, like getting the wind knocked out of me, and Rebecca wailing on the other end of the phone, and then I really lose it … I hear her words pouring out amid her tears, ‘I’m here, we’ll fight this together, I’m not going anywhere.'”
The actor added, “She will go beyond keeping her word. Rebecca will remain by my side, unwavering, my rock, my champion.”
The Moment They Met
Dane recalled when he first crossed paths with Gayheart at a party in 1999, noting he was “laser focused” and “gawking” at her while she danced.
“I keep looking at her and, my eyes still on her, I lean down to the woman next to me, a friend, and I say, ‘I’m gonna marry that girl,'” he wrote.
Unfortunately, the friend informed Dane that they were at a party for Gayheart’s then-fiancé. Dane and Gayheart were eventually introduced at the bar and parted ways.
Nearly four years later, the duo happened to bump into each other at a coffee shop. “I glance at her finger. No ring,” Dane recalled.
The pair sparked a “whirlwind romance” over their shared love for sweets and were “pretty much inseparable.”
The Marriage Proposal
One day in October 2004, less than a year after their courtship began, Dane mentioned he wanted to get married but wasn’t interested in a wedding. Gayheart agreed, and Dane suggested they go to Las Vegas.
The pair immediately caught a flight and headed to the nearest chapel, asking their cab driver to serve as their witness.
“Rebecca and I look into each other’s eyes and promise that we will love each other until death do us part,” Dane wrote. “OK. A little on the nose. Who knew?”
Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart’s Daughters Through the Years: Family Photos
Starting Their Family
By 2009, Gayheart “desperately” wanted to have a family, but Dane admitted he was “on the fence” amid his Grey’s Anatomy success.
“We get busy and we get pregnant. But we have a miscarriage,” Dane wrote. “Then we get pregnant again, and we have a second miscarriage. Rebecca starts getting really nervous about time passing, getting older, so we start IVF and we get pregnant a third time — and we have a third miscarriage.”
Though Gayheart thought the losses were “her fault,” Dane got tested and realized he was “the problem.” The pair continued trying to conceive but were unsuccessful — until Dane recommended “a change of scenery.”
“It works,” he wrote, noting that the couple went on a beach getaway. “Rebecca gets pregnant the night we check in.”
Daughters Billie and Georgia were born in 2010 and 2011, respectively.
“Rebecca is the model mom. I thank her every day for the time she puts in, the love and attention she showers on our kids,” Dane wrote later in the book. “I miss out on so much, and that tugs at my heart.”
When Their Marriage Ends
According to Dane, the pair’s “marriage collapses” around 2018, with Gayheart feeling the weight of his long work hours and “complications” from his addiction battle.
Dane recalled telling a mediator to give Gayheart “whatever she needs” so that there were “no changes” to her life. The duo “move into separate homes” and “live separate lives,” but Dane admitted that their dynamic wasn’t conventional.
“We leave our marriage, but we don’t leave our family,” he wrote. “Rebecca and I are not a couple anymore. Well, except sometimes, when we can’t help ourselves. Usually, almost always, we’re not a couple. But we are, always, a family.”
For Dane, it seemed “pretty straightforward” to get along for their children. Gayheart had full custody, with their daughters living with her to eliminate “schlepping back and forth from house to house.” They continued to spend holidays as a family and travel together, which Dane thought their kids found “confusing.”
Dane and Gayheart carried on with their lives, but divorce papers were never filed. “I contend that we simply forget,” he wrote.
The ALS Battle
Dane commended Gayheart for staying by his side as his health declined, calling her his “best friend.”
“She drops by every day, early in the morning, late at night, sometimes in the middle of the night when she knows I won’t be sleeping,” he wrote. “She’s the person I call, the one I go to when I need to talk, when I need to scream, when I need to cry.”
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