In our Money Secrets series, we ask people to confess their furtive money-related secrets which they are hiding from loved ones or that people do not know the full extent about.
Today, we speak to Becky, whose name we have changed to protect her identity. She is infatuated with a man who works at a bookshop, so keeps going in to buy books that she does not want or need.
When I left my hometown to go away to university, I was excited at the prospect of a new adventure, living in a new place, making new friends – and meeting men.
Everything turned out brilliantly. I love my university course, live with a great group of friends and have enjoyed plenty of nights out.
I am now in my final year of uni, have turned 21 and have no plans to return back home, instead I plan to look for a job in the area so I can settle down here.
When it comes to romance, I’ve had my fair share of flings and have met lots of nice lads, just no one special enough to go out with for more than a few months.
But a couple of months into my second year of uni, I met the love of my life and since then, I can’t stop thinking about him.
I met him when I walked into a bookshop to buy some university books for my course. He is absolutely gorgeous and looks like he is a film star playing the part of someone who works in a bookstore.
But it wasn’t just about his good looks. I asked him for his help in finding the books I needed and he was just so kind and helpful. When one of the books wasn’t in stock, he took the time to look it up and order it in for me.
He looks several years older than me, but doesn’t wear a wedding ring (I checked) and seems so much more mature, grown up and attentive than the boys at university who are more interested in getting drunk or watching football down at the pub.
We got chatting and I realised he has a wonderful and caring personality, as well as being so hot.
I had to go back in to collect the book he help order a few days later and since then, I have become a regular. I pop in most days and he always seems happy to see me. He comes over as soon as he is free of other customers and we spend a lot of time talking. He is very funny, intelligent and knows so much about books and so many subjects.
I obviously need an excuse for going into the bookshop so often, so at first, I kept buying books associated with my course, even though strictly speaking, I didn’t really need them because I could have just borrowed them from the university library.
Instead, I am now the proud owner of all the books from our university course list, even the ones that were just mentioned as being minorly useful rather than highly recommended. It has got to the stage where other students on my course come to me asking to borrow them as it’s easier than going to the library and waiting for them to come in.
A lot of our conversations are based around books. I have ended up buying a lot of books he has recommended and while I have enjoyed some of them, some of them don’t really sound my thing, so are stacked up unread on my bedroom floor.
Every time it is the birthday of a friend or family member, I go into the bookshop to buy them a book. I tell him what they are into and he comes up with a brilliant recommendation.
Last Christmas, I ended up buying everyone in my family books as presents – and I’m planning to do the same thing again this year.
I didn’t actually realise how much I was spending on all these books until one of my flatmates made me sit down and go through all my bank statements and credit card bills. We worked out I had spent almost £6,000 on books in the last 18 months.
This was actually scary to realise as I hadn’t really thought about how expensive books are – but a lot of the books I’ve been buying are hardbacks, specialist textbooks or new releases. It is frightening how quickly it all adds up.
It is not as though I can afford to be spending all this money on books I don’t necessarily need or want as I am a student. A lot of the money has been going on to my student overdraft or on my credit card.
Some of my friends think my infatuation with this man is hilarious and they jokingly refer to him as “Notting Hill man” as that film has a plot around a bookshop owner – but I’m certainly not a glamorous film star.
My best friends keep telling me I should just ask him out as it has been going on for so long and they can’t believe we haven’t progressed to arranging to meet outside the bookstore.
However, I don’t want to risk him turning me down as then I would be too embarrassed to go back into the bookshop. The thought of never seeing or speaking to him again is heartbreaking.
So, I’ll just keep on buying books I don’t need or want and can’t really afford.
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