This Just In—We have so much to learn from our European cousins. So much.
Before I begin, early voting starts today. Get out there and VOTE as soon as you possibly can. Everything depends on it.
My father-in-law was a WWII 38th Infantry Army veteran who landed on Omaha Beach just after D-Day and rolled into Paris with Patton. He was always grateful to have survived and asked us to promise we’d go to Normandy one day and pay our respects to his friends left behind.
Last week, with my husband and children, we did just that.
Anyone who has visited Normandy and the American cemetery there knows the enormity of the place and its humbling effect. We visited the Utah Beach museum and then Omaha Beach itself, where my husband and older son went down onto the sand and stood where Emmanuel Bolduc and his friends landed. I’m grateful to have seen that.
What I took away from this trip, which included a few days in London as well, was a perspective that had a practical value. This was, for me, much bigger than just my personal and direct connection to the events of WWII or the gigantic history that is all around us in Europe.
We did a good amount of preparation for this trip in an effort to maximize our short time there. Included in this was my son’s wise insight that the manners of Americans are sometimes thought to be rude and abrupt. There are specific reasons for this, which can be mitigated.
When you first speak to someone, simply begin with a greeting — Good morning/afternoon, Bonjour. Simple. Don’t jump right into “Can you help me with …”
That sounds pretty easy, right? It was a remarkable part of the cultural adjustment …just slow down, speak to people like they’re human beings, smile a little (until you have reason NOT to) and then get to the topic at hand. It’s a cultural pace. It’s civility.
As I was checking out of the Musée D’Orsay gift shop, the sweet lady behind the counter looked at me and smiled. “Bonjour,” she said in a songbird’s voice.
My fatigue had the better of me for a moment and I responded by asking if I could have some assistance in getting something that was on display, but locked in a cabinet. I interrupted myself mid-sentence and held my hands up to emphasize my pause.
”Bonjour,” I said, smiling.
I cannot overstate the delight that this brought to this lovely young woman who realized I was correcting a mistake … one that she must see all the time. It was a keepsake moment.
I did acquire some souvenirs in Europe, but this takeaway is one that I hope to integrate into my daily mindfulness for the rest of my life. It is EASY to see and experience its benefits. It is the best souvenir. Duty-free.
In the larger view, I subscribe to the notion that certain things are contagious. Among those are cold viruses, some bacterial infections, political courage and civility.
It is my hope that this weekend (No Kings Day) and in the coming weeks we are going to see a massive display of the electorate’s political courage. My personal mission is to engage in a massive outbreak of European-inspired civility anywhere and everywhere that I find the opportunity.
There’s been a coarsening of our culture in the last decade, exacerbated by a powerful person who has branded it as the language of ordinary people. He’s wrong. The actual language of ordinary people is best found at the ballot box.
Get out and vote, s’il vous plaît.
Jean Bolduc is a freelance writer and is the author of “African Americans of Durham & Orange Counties: An Oral History” (History Press, 2016) and has served on Orange County’s Human Relations Commission, The Alliance of AIDS Services-Carolina, the Orange County Housing Authority Board of Commissioners, and the Orange County Schools’ Equity Task Force. She was a featured columnist and reporter for the Chapel Hill Herald and the News & Observer.
Readers can reach Jean via email – jean@penandinc.com and via Twitter @JeanBolduc
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