With psychology-related activities like shadow work gaining popularity lately, there are plenty of different tools out there to help you regulate your emotions in a healthy way. All of these self-reflection practices are designed to increase one thing: self-awareness. Greater levels of self-cognition lead to emotional maturity—what we should all strive for! Psychologists also say that people who are highly self-aware usually do a few things differently.For starters, they notice how they’re feeling in the moment before becoming reactionary. This is a highly valuable skill that can help every single person in their personal relationships—from family to romantic partners. Seeing the full picture of how you react to certain situations and how you present to others can make you a better person overall. Even if you feel like you aren’t 100% there yet, don’t worry.We asked a licensed psychologist to weigh in on what it really means to be emotionally attuned in this way, why people sometimes think they’re self-aware but aren’t and the seven things highly self-aware people do differently. As a bonus, she also shares a few tips on how to test and increase your own levels of self-awareness. For her full rundown, keep reading below.Related: These 7 ‘Bad’ Habits Actually Signal Strong Self-Awareness, Psychologist Says
What Is Self-Awareness, Exactly?
Dr. Brandy Smith, PhD, a licensed psychologist with Thriveworks in Birmingham, AL, says there are a few key elements to understand when it comes to this concept. “Self-awareness is essentially the ability to notice and understand what is happening inside you while also recognizing how you show up in the world,” she tells Parade. “It can involve things like understanding what triggers you, knowing your strengths and weaknesses and recognizing your patterns.”
Another important distinction is to understand internal vs. external awareness—both are needed to truly grasp the full picture of yourself. She says that internal awareness is consciously understanding your own mind and involves the things she listed above. “[Good examples include], ‘I am actually angry, but I have been calling it stress,’ ‘I say yes because I am afraid of disappointing people’ or ‘I know this situation itself is not that serious, but it’s bringing up something from my past,'” she shares.External awareness, on the other hand, is understanding your impact on others.“It requires you to be willing to consider that your intentions and impact are not always the same thing,” she adds.
These might seem easy at first glance, but she says it’s common for people to think they’re self-aware when they actually aren’t. Think of these things as skills that can be developed and learned. It requires you to dig a little deeper than you normally would. “Just because someone thinks about themselves a lot does not mean they truly understand themselves,” the psychologist explains. “True self-awareness requires being willing to ask, ‘Could there be something I am not seeing?'”Related: 7 Signs You’re Not ‘Too Sensitive’—You’re Actually Highly Perceptive, a Psychologist Says
7 Things Highly Self-Aware People Do Differently, According to a Psychologist
1. They notice their emotions before acting on them
A key part of being self-aware is learning how to recognize and manage your emotions. People who do this are often far less reactive in situations that might otherwise get heated. “Self-aware people don’t necessarily have less emotions, but they are better at recognizing what is happening before allowing emotions to dictate their behavior,” Dr. Smith states.
2. They recognize their patterns
It isn’t always easy to take a look at your own behavior and recognize where you could improve, but Dr. Smith says highly self-aware people know how to do this with ease. “They notice when the same situations keep producing the same reactions,” she explains. “Essentially, it means they move from ‘this keeps happening to me’ to ‘I’m noticing that I may be part of this pattern.'”
3. They can admit when they are wrong
This is another one that isn’t easy for some, but the journey to self-cognition requires taking ownership when you’re wrong and handling it maturely. People with a highly developed sense of self-awareness know how to do this. “Being self-aware does not mean being self-critical all the time,” Dr. Smith notes. “But being able to acknowledge mistakes (and repair them) is a sign that your ego isn’t more important than learning.”
4. They ask for feedback
Asking for honest feedback at work or in your personal relationships can be revealing, and highly self-aware people do this often without getting upset if there’s something they need to work on. “Self-aware people understand that they cannot see themselves from every angle,” Dr. Smith shares. “It helps to ask a trusted friend or family member, ‘Is there something I do in these situations that maybe I am not seeing?’ This is also where therapy can help as well.”Related: 7 Things People With Strong Self-Esteem Never Feel the Need To Explain, According to a Psychologist
5. They know their triggers
Knowing your own triggers is extremely important when it comes to self-awareness because it can help you recognize what situations might cause an emotional reaction. Once you understand them, you can work to neutralize the emotional charge around them. “Self-aware people begin to recognize the difference between what is happening in the moment and what that situation is bringing up for them,” Dr. Smith adds. “Knowing triggers does not mean it’s an excuse for behaviors, but it provides information that allows them to respond differently.”
6. They know what they don’t know
Being able to admit to yourself and others that you may not see the whole picture of a situation or know something fully is a telltale sign you’re highly mindful of yourself. You aren’t afraid to be wrong about something either. “A self-aware person can say, ‘I’m not sure’ or ‘I might be wrong.’ Being self-aware means being aware of your own blind spots,” Dr. Smith shares.
7. They change their behavior based on what they learn
Highly self-aware people are lifelong learners, and Dr. Smith says they can translate any feedback they’re given into tangible changes with ease. “Self-awareness becomes meaningful when it leads to action,” she emphasizes. “For example, saying ‘I recognize this pattern, and I am going to try something different.'”
Why Asking ‘What?’ Beats Asking ‘Why?’ in Self-Reflection
Being curious about the “what” and the “why” of your behavior is extremely useful when it comes to self-reflection. If you’re trying to increase your level of self-awareness, though, Dr. Smith says a good place to start is asking yourself “what” questions.
“Try starting with ‘What am I feeling now?’ or ‘What pattern am I noticing?'” she suggests.
Asking this type of question will help you better identify an emotion first if you’re unsure how you feel about a situation.
That said, however, there is value in delving into the “why” once you have a grasp on the “what.” This is great work to do when you’re trying to identify your triggers, or you’re working on managing your emotions more healthily.
“Once you have established ‘what,’ you can explore the ‘why’ more productively,” she adds.
Related: 7 Phrases People With High Self-Trust Use Regularly, Psychologist Says
3 Exercises To Test and Improve Your Self-Awareness
1. The ‘What Happened’ test
Dr. Smith says the “What Happened” test is a great way to increase self-awareness and acts as a learning tool for bettering yourself moving forward.
“Think of a recent interaction that maybe did not go well,” she explains. “Ask yourself: ‘What happened objectively? What was I feeling? What was I thinking? What did I do? What part of the situation was within my control?’ The goal is to see whether you can tell the story without automatically making yourself the hero or the villain.”
This can help prevent negative interactions moving forward and allows you to see yourself more fully without judgment.
2. Ask someone you trust
Confiding in people you trust is key when you’re looking to develop more self-awareness. Your close circle will be honest with you about any patterns they notice and can help you correct them with love. Dr. Smith has a bit of advice for this.
“Choose someone you know well and trust. You can ask them about your strengths and weaknesses,” she suggests. “You don’t have to agree with them, but even noticing your immediate reaction to the feedback is good information too.”
3. The ‘pause’ practice
Dr. Smith says that taking a short pause before responding to someone in an emotional situation can make all the difference. It could be the difference between being reactionary and being responsive—two different things entirely! Responding is recognizing when you’re being emotionally triggered, but remaining calm anyway instead of reacting strongly in the moment.
“When you notice yourself becoming activated, ask yourself, ‘What am I feeling? What am I about to do? What outcome do I want?'” she suggests.
Up Next:
Related: These 9 ‘Selfish’ Habits Actually Signal High Intelligence, Psychologist Says
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Dr. Brandy Smith, PhD, is a licensed psychologist with Thriveworks in Birmingham, AL.Hence then, the article about people who are highly self aware usually do these 7 things differently psychologist says was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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