As TNR’s Michael Tomasky noted Monday, Graham’s legacy is that he groveled before a president whom he knew to be a very bad man, and in doing so played no small role in the Republican Party’s collective surrender to MAGA authoritarianism. We knew Graham thought Trump was a creep because he said so. “Trump’s a race-baiting, xenophobic, religious bigot,” Graham said in 2015. “He doesn’t represent my party.” But five years later Graham tried to help Trump steal the 2020 election, and last month Graham said, “Mr. President, you’re not far behind God.” Had he lived, this Trump toady would have been a shoo-in for re-election in November.
A 1996 meta-analysis on the literature of sucking-up by Randall A. Gordon, professor of psychology of the University of Minnesota, Duluth, confirms this. “The possibility that tactical ingratiation may become completely transparent (especially in situations in which the ingratiator is highly dependent on the target for rewards)” is identified as the “ingratiator’s dilemma.’” But it turns out not to be much of a dilemma. “The high status recipient of agreement,” writes Gordon, quoting a 1964 study, “is not likely to suspect the tactical origin because, from his perspective, it is gratifying, but hardly surprising when people believe what is correct.”
When I was young I had the idea that if I ever sucked up to my boss he would see right through me and humiliate me. My vice was the opposite. I tended to treat my betters gruffly, even rudely, to demonstrate—to whom it was never clear—my fierce integrity. When I was 23 or so, I wrote a piece for this magazine that prompted a kind letter from a well-established journalist whom I very much admired. The gracious and common-sensical thing would have been to express my gratitude in reply. For precisely that reason, I did not. Eventually we became friends, but that was in spite of my infantile surliness, not because of it. Later I grew up enough to behave better, but I never mastered the art of what Harvard Business Review, in a July 1 article, called “Networking Up.”
I’m a little dismayed that the value of treating co-workers decently regardless of rank carries the force of revelation in a major business publication. “For high potentials,” wrote Lopata, “the key question is not Do senior leaders know me?’ but ‘How do the people I rely on describe working with me?’ So, it’s vital to invest time and thought in deepening relationships with the people you work with every day.” Well, duh. What monsters never learned this basic principle while being dandled on mommy’s or daddy’s knee? Suck-ups, I guess.
“It pays to kiss up and suck down,” wrote Pilita Clark in Financial Times on Sunday. Clark agreed with Lopata that “Being nice to everyone is far smarter than a lot of ambitious wannabes ever realize.” But like me, Clark found “one of the most infuriating aspects of the toadying sycophant is the extent to which they keep succeeding.” There are “moderately talented bootlickers who rise remorselessly through the ranks while bullying juniors with abandon.” There are middle managers who kiss “up and down” but kick “sideways at peers they deem a threat.” The vileness of such behavior is “obvious to anyone working closely with these people, yet so invisible to everyone else.” But is it really so invisible? There are some bosses—President Donald Trump is one, and the $900 billion man Elon Musk is another—who revel in seeing their workforces demoralized and depleted. For them, subordinates who suck up and kick down are exactly what they’re looking for.
At the heart of sycophancy lies a fragile self — a structure held together not by confidence, but by chronic insecurity and an insatiable hunger for approval. The sycophant doesn’t just want validation — they need it…. At its core, it’s less a strategy than a wounded reflex, a leftover dance from early relationships with dominant figures like parents, teachers, and other authority figures…. In extreme cases, sycophantic behavior may reflect masochistic tendencies — a psychological structure where the individual unconsciously derives satisfaction from self-denial, humiliation, or submission.
So maybe I was right after all when I decided at an early age not to care that much what the boss thought of me. Or rather, maybe I should thank my parents for not warping me into somebody who is desperate to please. Though if I cared a little more, probably I’d have accumulated fewer bosses over my professional career. The ones I have now, incidentally, are perfect.
Hence then, the article about lindsey graham knew the secret about sucking up was published today ( ) and is available on The New Republic ( Middle East ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
Read More Details
Finally We wish PressBee provided you with enough information of ( Lindsey Graham Knew the Secret About Sucking Up )
Also on site :
- Princess Diana's Alleged Camilla Face-Off Over King Charles Happened Here—Now the London Estate Is Listed for $33 Million
- Kendra Scott’s ‘Stunning’ $53 Adjustable Bracelet at Amazon ‘Goes With Everyday Outfits’ and Comes in 32 Styles
- Country Star, With No. 1 Hit Song Lasting 13 Weeks, Makes Billboard Chart History