Fortunately, there are a few child psychologist-approved methods that can calm kids down quickly. In fact, we spoke with two child psychologists who happen to agree on the same parenting phrase that adults should use when trying to co-regulate kids or grandkids.
That said, Dr. Weksner stresses, "Even though this phrase is likely to help calm your little one—especially the more and more you use it—there is no guarantee that it will always work on every kid."
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This Parenting Phrase Calms Kids the Fastest, 2 Child Psychologists Agree
For example, Dr. Weksner suggests saying things like, "Yes, I know you are super annoyed right now," or "It does feel overwhelming right now."
Using the verbiage "right now" can also help your child or teen's brain "to see past the intensity of the distress to when they will feel differently," Dr. Weksner adds. "It won't make things better all at once, but it will take the hardest edge off their upset and that softening is often enough for them to access their problem-solving skills again."
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3 More Approaches To Help Calm a Child, According to Experts
Dr. Weksner says "shifting into speaking low and slow" can help calm little ones. And by low, she means both lowering your height as well as the tone of your voice.
2. Give them a task to do with clear instructions
"Generally speaking, dysregulated kids respond best when they are given clear directions on the next step that is expected of them," explains Dr. Weksner. So instead of simply telling your child to calm down, she suggests telling your child to do something that could make them feel calm—and make sure to give them very clear directions. Here are some examples she shares:
"Take three gulps of water and then we can figure this out together." "Drinking water in big gulps—especially from a straw—forces diaphragmatic breathing, which is the antidote to distress," Dr. Weksner says. "Do four soldier jumping jacks with me and then we can find a way to fix the problem." Dr. Weksner explains that soldier jumping jacks activate the whole body and "offers release of the agitated energy the child is holding." "Go get me your blue socks from the drawer and then we can make a plan for what happens next." "Looking for a specific item moves the cognitive activity away from the emotional brain and into higher order thinking processes thus offering inherent regulation," she explains.3. Reflect their feelings back to them
By validating your child's feelings, "it communicates to the child that you see and understand how they are feeling," says Dr. Chesir. "Children often escalate their behaviors in an attempt to communicate what they are experiencing, so when a parent acknowledges those feelings, it reduces the need to 'turn up the volume.'"
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"Parents may feel the urge to do more, such as try to reason, problem-solve or reassure," she tells Parade. However, simply reflecting your child's current feelings back to them—while reminding them that those feelings are just for "right now"—"is enough to de-escalate, and is often what the child needs most in that moment."
Final Takeaways
When trying to calm a child, focus on validating and labeling their feelings while acknowledging that they're temporary.
Remember that every child is different. There's no one-size-fits-all solution for calming all kids.Use the phrase "right now" when calming a child. This reminds them that their distress won't last forever.Stay calm and speak low and slow. This can send a signal to your kid's brain that can help them calm down.Related: We Asked 4 Child Psychologists What Parenting Style Is Best—They All Said the Same Thing
Sources:
Dr. Rebecca Weksner, Psy.D., PMH-C NCSP, licensed clinical psychologistDr. Adina Chesir, Psy.D., licensed clinical psychologistHence then, the article about child psychologists say this is the parenting phrase that calms kids fastest was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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