Pearl Lowe, 56, began her career as the lead singer and songwriter of indie bands Powder and Lodger before becoming a fashion and interiors designer. She is married to the musician Danny Goffey, with whom she has three children: Alfie, 29, Frankie, 27, and Betty, 20. She also has a daughter, the model Daisy Lowe, 37, from a previous relationship with the singer Gavin Rossdale. She lives between London and Somerset with Goffey.
Gavin refused to do a paternity test for years. I was so young when I fell pregnant with Daisy. Gavin was my best friend and he was Daisy’s godfather. There were inklings [that he might be the father]. I said we should do a test and he was like, “No, no, no, I’m not her dad.” It was only when she got older and grew really tall – the guy that I thought was her dad was really small – and suddenly everyone kept going, “Oh, my God, she looks so much like Gavin.” Sadly, at that point he didn’t want to know. But now they’ve had this amazing relationship for more than a decade. She got married last summer and it was lovely hanging out with him.
Before I met Danny, I only went out with older men. Danny was four years younger than me so, at first, I thought he was cute but way too young. I was in a band and I had my pick of some gorgeous guys. The weirdest thing was when I was on a date with Ian Astbury, from the band The Cult, and he took me to see Supergrass play. Apparently, I stood there just looking at Danny and I kept saying: “That drummer’s amazing. Have you seen that drummer?” I didn’t realise he was going to be my husband.
When Danny and I first met, he said he’d been warned that I was a “bit of a nutter”. We met at a festival in Belgium. I remember sitting on my own with massive aviator glasses on and I was crying because I didn’t want to be there. He came over to me and told me about his sound engineer’s warning. We started chatting, then we ended up hanging out all day and all night. I didn’t think I’d see him again but we were on the same ferry together going home. Then that was it.
I had a serious drug problem in my late twenties. After I co-founded Lodger with Danny in 1997, I became addicted to heroin and was taking all sorts of other drugs, too. I think that was because I was so unhappy, so I was just using all the time. It was just so toxic. I realise now that maybe I wasn’t so much of an addict but more I was using drugs as a way of medicating. It’s actually my ADHD that’s the problem.
I recovered by moving away from London. We struggled in London. We were living in Camden and there’d be syringes on the floor outside. I couldn’t give the kids the time that I wanted to give them, so I decided to bring up our children in a way that would make them feel happy and secure. I changed my phone number. I couldn’t get hold of any dealers. I loved being an at-home mum. It just became a way of life, like not drinking and not doing drugs.
I was diagnosed with pretty severe ADHD in my early fifties, which was a shocker. It’s been a bit of a lightbulb moment – everything makes sense, for example, like why I have so many tabs open every single day, why I can multi-task, and why I do so many different careers. I have medication but it takes away a bit of my creativity, so I tend not to take it too much.
Being the sort of person that I am, I completely overspend. I don’t think about tomorrow. One of my downfalls in my life is that if I see something I absolutely love, I’d rather not eat so I can buy it. Then I lay awake at night going: “Why did I buy that? I’m going to have to sell something.” The good thing about having a website is that I can sell everything; actually, furniture does so well on my website. If I think I’m a bit short this month, I’ll sell a few things. I put an armchair up and it will go that day.
I regret buying an £8,000 sauna. We bought a beach house and a company offered me about 50 per cent off a sauna. It was still really expensive and I’m sure they gave everybody that deal, but it just didn’t work and they refused to help and fix it. It was the biggest waste of money.
Taking HRT is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I suffered so much with heavy periods and not being able to go out when I had my period, and really low moods. I think I had some hormonal imbalances. I had an amazing doctor and when I was 47, she told me that I was perimenopausal and I need to go on these pills and use the gel. I’ve never been happier.
‘Faded Glamour in the City’ by Pearl Lowe is out now, published by CICO Books
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