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Ask yourself these questions: Is this couple going to want to go hiking or lounge by the pool, or are they going to keep up with you while you’re walking in the city on your trip? “Talk about what you like to do for fun,” recommends Morin. “If they envision spending all day on the beach and you’re planning to see the sites, you’ll want to make sure everyone is on the same page.”
Financial Considerations
If there’s a non-negotiable, discuss that up front too. “For example, if you don’t drink and don’t want to be around alcohol, which may be a deal breaker,” says Morin.
Discuss Independence Ahead of Time
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How To Discuss Expectations Diplomatically
Be clear about what would make the trip enjoyable for you, including any time you want to spend alone with your partner. You can also say if you prefer to be spontaneous and don’t want anyone to feel obligated to join.
Morin suggested that couples split up during the day and reconnect later, such as meeting for dinner. The goal is to let everyone enjoy the trip in the way that suits them best, even if that means not spending every moment together. Morin says those conversations can help prevent hurt feelings later.
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Prioritize a Little Personal Space
To avoid tension, talk about those needs before the trip. You might say, “I like to take an evening walk to recharge,” or “I prefer to end the day with a quiet dinner alone with my partner.”
If you encounter a couple you are with that expresses that they are not interested in going off on their own, being upfront and frank is warranted, says Leanna Stockard, licensed marriage and family therapist at LifeStance Health who is based in Manchester, New Hampshire.
“We rarely get to spend any alone time together as a couple, so we are going to do [this] just the two of us today. But we are excited to see you guys tomorrow for [that]!”“I completely understand and love that you want to spend time with us all day. We would like to do x, y, and z on our own today, but let’s meet up for [another activity, or a meal].”
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Why Time Together as a Couple Matters
Couples reconnect on vacation. Credit: Getty Images/ Halfpoint ImagesMake time for the two of you to connect during the trip, whether that means a romantic dinner, a daily walk together or even watching a movie in bed, says Morin. Vacations are a chance to relax, reflect and strengthen your relationship through intentional time alone.
“Alone time is important for couples because it's their opportunity to spend quality time together and to connect with one another,” says Stockard at LifeStance Health.
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The Bottom Line
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