Forget football. The British national sport is spending 51 weeks of the year moaning about the rain – and the other seven days complaining it’s too hot.
Here we go again. Although maybe this time we have a point.
On Monday, the UK is forecast to break its springtime temperature record, set 104 years ago. If 33°C sounds unseasonably warm for May, it is.
We are a nation emotionally unprepared for sunshine. Worries about climate change are forgotten in the giddy determination to enjoy our brief, unreliable summers, whichever month of the year they deign to visit.
Millions of people suddenly remember the existence of the outdoors. Laptops melt. Barbecue aisles are stripped bare. Panic-buyers raid Argos for paddling pools. In London, strangers even talk to one another.
This enthusiasm lasts until about 9pm, when we return indoors to discover the ambient temperature has reached blast-furnace levels.
Unfortunately, all homes built in Britain since 1945 were designed by people convinced sunlight was a rumour. New-builds are especially susceptible to heatwaves, creating conditions that would be unacceptable to Bedouin.
Air con was once viewed in this country as vulgar: a crass, energy-guzzling Americanism. No longer.
The Government is now offering us subsidies to install it in our homes, using air-to-air heat pumps to deliver green energy upgrades.
However you are spending the bank holiday weekend, here’s to a cold drink in the company of nature and friends.
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