Even though I have made amazing friends from running clubs, exchanging pizza and wine at house parties, the dating aspect of it has become a problem. It’s clear everyone is here for only one goal: women are whispering about who their type is, while the men are hitting on the newest girl to join the club.
My friend went on a date a few months ago with someone from the running club in Lisbon. The guy had originally asked her out during the post run coffee meet-up. He ghosted her and asked out another girl from the running club, and now they are a couple. It's an awkward situation for my friend.
Dating in a running club can ruin the group dynamics; I have seen strong friend groups split in two because of a breakup. There is often so much romantic drama going on in these clubs that it feels like a reality TV show.
But while many singles flock to hobby-based spaces, I wonder if these spaces truly offer a better path to meaningful relationships or simply repackage the same frustrations.
“Dating within a community like a running club can be lovely, but it does blur lines in ways that can get emotionally complicated if not dealt with properly,” Khwaja said. It’s healthy to be intentional from the start. “That means checking in with yourself before pursuing something, asking yourself: Am I genuinely interested, or am I getting swept up in the closeness of the group?”
Khwaja encourages runners to set clear boundaries around dating such that “the progression of the relationship will be separate to the progression of the group. If things get awkward, you won’t let this stop you from attending events,” she said. “It’s about protecting and keeping the community stable rather than letting it become collateral damage.”
I personally don’t mind that running clubs have become the new dating app. I do have an issue with the fact that everything I hate about dating apps now plays out live physically in front of me.
It’s human nature to fall for people who we see repeatedly in the same communal spaces. But the difference now is the low-investment mindset that people bring into these spaces. That should have all of us running in the opposite direction.
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