So, Michael, you went to Japan and they buried you?
Except in a sauna you’re not buried. What if they forget to exhume you?
You survived another near-death experience with a dinner, didn’t you?
Yes, there was the pufferfish. This is the Japanese delicacy that naturally contains a deadly neurotoxin with no known antidote, so chefs have to have something like 20 years of training before they’re licensed to prepare it. I tried it at Shimonoseki, on the main island, Honshu, and you have this real feeling of playing Russian – or Japanese – Roulette.
It tasted extremely like fish. It was quite pleasant – neither the best nor the worst fish I’ve ever had, though possibly the most exciting, given that I was dicing with death. It was certainly better than the fried octopus balls I had in Osaka, but nowhere near as good as the sushi. That was gorgeous. Sushi chefs, too, have years and years of training, and to see it carved in front of you, with all this delicacy and artistry, is tremendous. I’d never understood this before, but the chef told me the most delicate thing to do is swallow the entire piece of sushi in one go – and these are quite large pieces. Now mine is not a small mouth, but nonetheless conversation was not possible for some time after each mouthful.
I did not. That’s simply not the way the Japanese think. In fact, I found them incredibly friendly. Thanks to Google Translate, you can sit down with people anywhere and have a chat – if they don’t speak English, they simply pass you their mobile phone, you speak into it, and it’s immediately translated for them. It’s now very easy for foreigners to get about, too. On the Tokyo subway, for instance, there are signs and announcements in English. In fact, each station has its own jingle. So if you’re a routine commuter, you don’t even have to look up from your iPhone – you just hear the jingle, have a Pavlovian reaction and leave the train.
No, at Waseda University, also in Tokyo, I met these robots they’re developing to help elderly people, though I think they have some way to go. There was one that’s meant to turn people over in bed – it sort of sticks an arm under your knees, and another one goes on your back, and it’s meant to give you a little flip.
No, the opposite. I think it was used to more delicate Japanese forms rather than a heavy Westerner. I’m not a slight creature, so I had to give it a bit of help. Then there was another one that’s meant to take your shirt off and hang it up. It did that all right, but when it was offered one of my jackets, which are heavier, that was too much for it. It just dropped it on the floor. Did it do that on grounds of taste, because the AI objected to my colourful wardrobe? I don’t think so.
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